Monday, 8 October 2012

dildaara (stand by me)

Since the fist time I saw this woman I have become inspired with her looks, her voice, her language, the way she dresses, the vitality she has. I should someday tell her this, when the time is braver and less shameful. Right now, I simply feel incompetent and there would be little meaning to my words.

And this dildaara song has gotten me dancing again in melody, and the fact that it so much somehow reflects what India is like (Beautiful Forever has somehow changed my perspective on India almost entirely) definitely have put more meanings to this special country. Thank you to another lady again.

Such significant ladies which I have always have a dream to become someday. Such beautiful ladies with their own crafts not even the best man can copy. Such energy and consistent resonance to drive a changing force, yet gentle and supportive in nature. I am not just envious; the motivation transpired through me almost transparently.

The engagement session with her today has given me some hope; I don't know for better or worse though, I am that skeptical. But what I know for sure, is that she has something I have been looking for for too long in the company. She emphasizes non-stop on core empowerment, the basics behind why we are doing things, the very reason we are here. It just finally makes sense to me.

She said she asked to change her profession because she wanted to make an impact. She wanted to showcase that if something is successful, it would be because of her, and if it becomes a failure, it would also be because of her. Her courage to own problems is what turned me really silent and listened. She has such a powerful mind. This lady, is not only has quality in her work, but in her personality as well.

She has done it due to choice, and I want to mimic her, if not be better than her. Yes, condition has put me in this corner of a tough choice; but what I have painfully learnt was that there must be for a reason. I guess condition has always played an important role in changing the course of my life. And I want to turn this into something good. I want to add some values into my life. I want it to be meaningful. There are still a lot more in me, I am non-exhaustive at the things I want to do and achieve in my life that at some point I am afraid that I will lose you.

But the dreams are high enough for me that I guess I will brave the nightmares to achieve it. I still can't give them up. I guess I'll just do what I do best and let Him decide on which path to take. And through all these years, I should know better on how much long you have been beside me, making me smile after each tears. Holding me closely with such assuring words and confident ways. Nothing is too much for you when it's about sacrificing for me.

So I will ask from you humbly, my love - please be patient with me. We will achieve something big. InsyaAllah, ameen ameen ameeeennnn ya Allah...

And just as you are, I cannot wait to marry you :)