Sunday 31 August 2008
Saturday 30 August 2008
sebelum aku 20 aku dah...
1. jadi penulis (inspirasi SEMESTI, blog, e-zine)
2. khatam AQ 11 kali insyaAllah
3. hilang 6kg dalam masa sebulan (dari 54kg ke 48kg)
4. found my soulmate :)
5. kerja dan kumpul lbh krg 1000 ausie dollar
6. seorang ustaz yg ak pandang tinggi panggil aku adik (warning: yang terasa tu usah bangge dan riak lebih-lebih oke ;p)
7. menjadi yatim pada umur 8 tahun 11 bulan 20 hari
8. hilang adik kandung yang namanya kependekan dari nama aku (aqil aslam). tapi sebelum dia meninggal kitorang sempat qiam sekali. itulah first and last time dia qiam dalam hidup dia.
9. beri ceramah tanpa teks selama lebih kurang 2 jam pada juniors aku yang dalam 100+ orang pd 190108 dan satu lagi ceramah esok paginya sampai suara aku serak
10. ada mama, ada mak, ada ibu dan mereka adalah 3 orang berlainan
11. buat fius seterika asrama terbakar tanpa sengaja time aku form 3
12. terjatuhkan botol pencuci dalam mangkuk tandas faveret budak2 dorm aku (E1) dan berjaya ambilnya semula dengan beberapa taktik dan pertolongan budak2 delta (go delta!)
13. buat choc chip cookies pertama aku tanpa bantuan mama langsung dan kawan2 aku kata sedap macam yang jual kat kedai
14. usaha dan berjaya g salam permaisuri agong (time tu permaisuri aisyah) masa aku darjah 6
15. jadi ketua pengawas time skolah rendah dan sekolah menengah walaupun aku jadi prefect lebih lambat dari budak2 lain
16. jadi tokoh pelajar time skolah rendah dan menengah
17. became the first semestian yang kaut best student pmr dan spm (selalunya budak yang dapat best student pmr tak berjaya maintain jadi best student spm)
18. hampir kene lamar skali (siot menakutkan!) tapi aku reject atas alasan yang terlalu munasabah- aku tak kenal dia (note: berjaga-jagalah dengan friendster)
19. pernah cuba bunuh diri sekali masa umur aku kurang 6 tahun- berdiri tengah-tengah jalan raya sebab mama taknak belikan aku kasut. mak menjerit macam orang gila dah
20. cuba dan gagal bawak kereta (kereta bergerak ke depan sedikit tapi terlanggar pokok bunga, syukur tak meluncur ke bawah bukit terus) dengan adik aku time umur aku 6/7 tahun. masa tu gatal-gatal main-main dalam kereta abah sampai dia bergerak sendiri dan kitorang menjerit menangis panggil abah sebab tak tau macam mana nak berhentikan kereta tu. abah sampai tak jadi nak pukul sebab takut sangat kot.
ada lagi yang aku teringat nanti aku tambah yerk~
2. khatam AQ 11 kali insyaAllah
3. hilang 6kg dalam masa sebulan (dari 54kg ke 48kg)
4. found my soulmate :)
5. kerja dan kumpul lbh krg 1000 ausie dollar
6. seorang ustaz yg ak pandang tinggi panggil aku adik (warning: yang terasa tu usah bangge dan riak lebih-lebih oke ;p)
7. menjadi yatim pada umur 8 tahun 11 bulan 20 hari
8. hilang adik kandung yang namanya kependekan dari nama aku (aqil aslam). tapi sebelum dia meninggal kitorang sempat qiam sekali. itulah first and last time dia qiam dalam hidup dia.
9. beri ceramah tanpa teks selama lebih kurang 2 jam pada juniors aku yang dalam 100+ orang pd 190108 dan satu lagi ceramah esok paginya sampai suara aku serak
10. ada mama, ada mak, ada ibu dan mereka adalah 3 orang berlainan
11. buat fius seterika asrama terbakar tanpa sengaja time aku form 3
12. terjatuhkan botol pencuci dalam mangkuk tandas faveret budak2 dorm aku (E1) dan berjaya ambilnya semula dengan beberapa taktik dan pertolongan budak2 delta (go delta!)
13. buat choc chip cookies pertama aku tanpa bantuan mama langsung dan kawan2 aku kata sedap macam yang jual kat kedai
14. usaha dan berjaya g salam permaisuri agong (time tu permaisuri aisyah) masa aku darjah 6
15. jadi ketua pengawas time skolah rendah dan sekolah menengah walaupun aku jadi prefect lebih lambat dari budak2 lain
16. jadi tokoh pelajar time skolah rendah dan menengah
17. became the first semestian yang kaut best student pmr dan spm (selalunya budak yang dapat best student pmr tak berjaya maintain jadi best student spm)
18. hampir kene lamar skali (siot menakutkan!) tapi aku reject atas alasan yang terlalu munasabah- aku tak kenal dia (note: berjaga-jagalah dengan friendster)
19. pernah cuba bunuh diri sekali masa umur aku kurang 6 tahun- berdiri tengah-tengah jalan raya sebab mama taknak belikan aku kasut. mak menjerit macam orang gila dah
20. cuba dan gagal bawak kereta (kereta bergerak ke depan sedikit tapi terlanggar pokok bunga, syukur tak meluncur ke bawah bukit terus) dengan adik aku time umur aku 6/7 tahun. masa tu gatal-gatal main-main dalam kereta abah sampai dia bergerak sendiri dan kitorang menjerit menangis panggil abah sebab tak tau macam mana nak berhentikan kereta tu. abah sampai tak jadi nak pukul sebab takut sangat kot.
ada lagi yang aku teringat nanti aku tambah yerk~
Friday 29 August 2008
春は来たですね～ (haru wa kita desu ne~)
hari ini aku bangun lebih kurang 630 pg. lepas solat dan minum air aku kunyah sekeping chewing gum dan mula exercise. rasa macam da bertambah berat; x leh jadi ni. sejak dua tiga minggu ni kaki kiri aku sakit so x boleh nak cergas sangat. jalan g uni pun terhinjut-hinjut. maybe hari tu aku terkehel kat mana-mana kot. entahlah.
tapi aku dah puas layan. hari ni mula lah exception. x kire; aku exercise gak. sakit lah sikit tapi x de lah teruk sangat. boleh tahan lah kaki pun tak terhinjut-hinjut lagi. jalan pun dah makin laju. doa-doa kaki ni cepat sembuh. hari tu kaki kanan skang kaki kiri pulak. tahan lah kaki, yerk. x lama mana pun.
tapi hari ni cuaca sangat best. cerah, time pagi dengan tengahari tak ada awan. just langit biru dan boleh nampak burung terbang dengan jelas di mana-mana. angin pun tak dingin sangat, rasa macam hari yang tenang di malaysia. sukanya.
bila sampai seminar nihongo aku tengok olivia belum sampai. entah macam mana aku boleh ngam dengan seorang dari korea tu. tinggi cantik muka simple, x sweet sangat, ekspresi tak berlebih-lebihan. lepak betul aku dengan dia. sejak first time aku jumpa dia aku rasa macam aku boleh sembang apa-apa pun dengan dia. dia senang sembang apa-apa je tp dia bukan mulut bising- orang rileks. aaa..macam seorang yang aku sayang tu. dan lepas tu je kitorang mesti duduk sebelah-sebelah.
tapi tadi tak. sebab dia datang lambat. sebelah aku dah ada sorang mamat ni duduk. redha je lah. skang olivia da final year business, busy giler lah tu. kesian, dia selalu cite pasal study cases dan assignments dia yang belambak.
bila dia masuk kelas dia duduk paling depan jugak tapi seat dia jarak sikit dari aku. bila nampak aku dia just senyum n kenyit mata. aku just senyum simple je, kemudian masing2 sambung keje.
bile time rehat, dia nak kuar, g toilet kot. tp dia jumpa aku dulu.
*'genki desu ka?' aku.
'genki desu.' dia.
'ii otenki desu ne..' aku.
'haii..sou desu.' dia cakap sambil pandang luar tingkap.
tiba-tiba dia duduk sebelah aku, atas seat aku. berhimpit lah kitorang berdua. aku pun pelik. kemudian dia cakap 'why am i the only one standing? isnt this recess time?' sebab semua orang duduk meja masing-masing buat kerja padahal time tu time rehat, so dia rasa macam mencapub. haha. aku cakap la 'i dont know. it's okay it is recess time. haha' orang lain pun da pandang kitorang. macam pelik sebab sorang budak korea sorang budak melayu pakai tudung n baru kenal tapi da boleh ngam giler sampai kongsi seat. aku rilek je.
before balek dari kelas sembang lagi. sikit-sikit je la tapi cukup la tu kan. dia pun busy kene g caulfield campus naik bus to go to her next class. dia cakap next seminar nihongo dia tukar timetable kot. sebab dia ada keje kene siapkan makanya tak boleh hadir seminar hari jumaat. susah aku nak jumpe kawan yang aku leh ngam kat sini, so aku rasa sedih sket. tapi hidup aku dah macam tu, selalunya pun aku jauh dari orang-orang yang aku sayang dan sekepala ngan aku. kejap-kejap berpisah. x pelah, rileks je lah kan. dan jangan risau sangat, kan :)
balik dari kelas aku enjoy weather lagi. aahh..cuaca yang sangat baik. bunga-bunga macam-macam kaler kat sana-sini, semua cantik-cantik. kecik besar merayap kat pokok kaler kuning merah ungu putih biru dan macam-macam lagi. sangat cantik.
aku bukak tingkap bilik sikit, sambil baca makthurat pandang langit yang tak banyak awan. kalau ada pun awan tak besar sangat dan banyak yang nipis-nipis. dapat rasa sikit bahang matahari, rasa panas n best. suara budak-budak main kat luar pun boleh dengar. ahh..*haru wa kita. tashikani, ne.
dan tadi sempat sapu bilik kejap. malam ni ada bbq lagi, entah la asyik bbq je budak2 petronas ni. aku tak minat sangat bbq..walaupun senang dibuat tapi tak sihat lah..adeyh. pape pun pegi jek, orang da ajak kan. maybe nak announce pasal tender makanan petronas dah tukar kot. emm, entah menu last macam mana yang diorang prepare malam ni yerk.
semalam time tipon rumah, aku rasa aku dah faham something tentang mama. jadi aku takkan give up. dan agaknya, bila mama asyik cakap 'i miss you, i love you so much' setiap kali before kitorang hang up, adik-adik pun dah blajar dari situ. semalam, first time awin cakap 'i miss you' sebelum letak tipon. walaupun aku rasa sedikit awkward bila dia cakap macam tu, tapi aku rasa aku sukakannya. aku terdiam kejap bila dengar kejujurannya tu kemudian aku balas balik 'i miss you too soo soo muchhhh! hehe..awin take care ya' dan kemudian kami bagi salam dan letak tipon.
betapa kadang-kadang sesetengah orang sangat berani untuk mencintai, macam dia dan dia tu. sesuatu yang aku sangat takut untuk buat. maybe sebab dari kecil mama ngan abah kurang cakapkannya kot; perkataan 'i miss you i love you' too. bila da besar ni baru mama biasakan bagitau aku yang dia sangat sayang aku. aku betul-betul rapat dengan mama pun, sejak masuk kolej..so tak peliklah jadi macam tu.
okelah, *souji ga arimasu yo. jaa mata :)
p/s: *yoku kinyoubi desu :)
*genki desu ka = sihat kah?
genki desu = sihat
ii otenki desu ne = hari ni cuaca baik, kan?
haii..sou desu = aah
haru wa kita..tashikani = musim bunga dah datang..semestinya
souji ga arimasu yo = ada keje
jaa mata = see u later
yoku kinyoubi desu = slamat menyambut hari jumaat (lit. hari jumaat yang baik)
tapi aku dah puas layan. hari ni mula lah exception. x kire; aku exercise gak. sakit lah sikit tapi x de lah teruk sangat. boleh tahan lah kaki pun tak terhinjut-hinjut lagi. jalan pun dah makin laju. doa-doa kaki ni cepat sembuh. hari tu kaki kanan skang kaki kiri pulak. tahan lah kaki, yerk. x lama mana pun.
tapi hari ni cuaca sangat best. cerah, time pagi dengan tengahari tak ada awan. just langit biru dan boleh nampak burung terbang dengan jelas di mana-mana. angin pun tak dingin sangat, rasa macam hari yang tenang di malaysia. sukanya.
bila sampai seminar nihongo aku tengok olivia belum sampai. entah macam mana aku boleh ngam dengan seorang dari korea tu. tinggi cantik muka simple, x sweet sangat, ekspresi tak berlebih-lebihan. lepak betul aku dengan dia. sejak first time aku jumpa dia aku rasa macam aku boleh sembang apa-apa pun dengan dia. dia senang sembang apa-apa je tp dia bukan mulut bising- orang rileks. aaa..macam seorang yang aku sayang tu. dan lepas tu je kitorang mesti duduk sebelah-sebelah.
tapi tadi tak. sebab dia datang lambat. sebelah aku dah ada sorang mamat ni duduk. redha je lah. skang olivia da final year business, busy giler lah tu. kesian, dia selalu cite pasal study cases dan assignments dia yang belambak.
bila dia masuk kelas dia duduk paling depan jugak tapi seat dia jarak sikit dari aku. bila nampak aku dia just senyum n kenyit mata. aku just senyum simple je, kemudian masing2 sambung keje.
bile time rehat, dia nak kuar, g toilet kot. tp dia jumpa aku dulu.
*'genki desu ka?' aku.
'genki desu.' dia.
'ii otenki desu ne..' aku.
'haii..sou desu.' dia cakap sambil pandang luar tingkap.
tiba-tiba dia duduk sebelah aku, atas seat aku. berhimpit lah kitorang berdua. aku pun pelik. kemudian dia cakap 'why am i the only one standing? isnt this recess time?' sebab semua orang duduk meja masing-masing buat kerja padahal time tu time rehat, so dia rasa macam mencapub. haha. aku cakap la 'i dont know. it's okay it is recess time. haha' orang lain pun da pandang kitorang. macam pelik sebab sorang budak korea sorang budak melayu pakai tudung n baru kenal tapi da boleh ngam giler sampai kongsi seat. aku rilek je.
before balek dari kelas sembang lagi. sikit-sikit je la tapi cukup la tu kan. dia pun busy kene g caulfield campus naik bus to go to her next class. dia cakap next seminar nihongo dia tukar timetable kot. sebab dia ada keje kene siapkan makanya tak boleh hadir seminar hari jumaat. susah aku nak jumpe kawan yang aku leh ngam kat sini, so aku rasa sedih sket. tapi hidup aku dah macam tu, selalunya pun aku jauh dari orang-orang yang aku sayang dan sekepala ngan aku. kejap-kejap berpisah. x pelah, rileks je lah kan. dan jangan risau sangat, kan :)
balik dari kelas aku enjoy weather lagi. aahh..cuaca yang sangat baik. bunga-bunga macam-macam kaler kat sana-sini, semua cantik-cantik. kecik besar merayap kat pokok kaler kuning merah ungu putih biru dan macam-macam lagi. sangat cantik.
aku bukak tingkap bilik sikit, sambil baca makthurat pandang langit yang tak banyak awan. kalau ada pun awan tak besar sangat dan banyak yang nipis-nipis. dapat rasa sikit bahang matahari, rasa panas n best. suara budak-budak main kat luar pun boleh dengar. ahh..*haru wa kita. tashikani, ne.
dan tadi sempat sapu bilik kejap. malam ni ada bbq lagi, entah la asyik bbq je budak2 petronas ni. aku tak minat sangat bbq..walaupun senang dibuat tapi tak sihat lah..adeyh. pape pun pegi jek, orang da ajak kan. maybe nak announce pasal tender makanan petronas dah tukar kot. emm, entah menu last macam mana yang diorang prepare malam ni yerk.
semalam time tipon rumah, aku rasa aku dah faham something tentang mama. jadi aku takkan give up. dan agaknya, bila mama asyik cakap 'i miss you, i love you so much' setiap kali before kitorang hang up, adik-adik pun dah blajar dari situ. semalam, first time awin cakap 'i miss you' sebelum letak tipon. walaupun aku rasa sedikit awkward bila dia cakap macam tu, tapi aku rasa aku sukakannya. aku terdiam kejap bila dengar kejujurannya tu kemudian aku balas balik 'i miss you too soo soo muchhhh! hehe..awin take care ya' dan kemudian kami bagi salam dan letak tipon.
betapa kadang-kadang sesetengah orang sangat berani untuk mencintai, macam dia dan dia tu. sesuatu yang aku sangat takut untuk buat. maybe sebab dari kecil mama ngan abah kurang cakapkannya kot; perkataan 'i miss you i love you' too. bila da besar ni baru mama biasakan bagitau aku yang dia sangat sayang aku. aku betul-betul rapat dengan mama pun, sejak masuk kolej..so tak peliklah jadi macam tu.
okelah, *souji ga arimasu yo. jaa mata :)
p/s: *yoku kinyoubi desu :)
*genki desu ka = sihat kah?
genki desu = sihat
ii otenki desu ne = hari ni cuaca baik, kan?
haii..sou desu = aah
haru wa kita..tashikani = musim bunga dah datang..semestinya
souji ga arimasu yo = ada keje
jaa mata = see u later
yoku kinyoubi desu = slamat menyambut hari jumaat (lit. hari jumaat yang baik)
Thursday 28 August 2008
latest update: alamat lama kekal
..sebab rupa-rupanya tak kisah la aku letak nama apa pun depan domain tu, asalkan blogspot tu jadi blogpsot resultnya akan tetap sama- website kristian.
kiranya, sesiapa saja ada blogspot akan kena.
nak tulis banyak-banyak tak boleh sebab kes ni sensitif. senang cita ini adalah suatu konspirasi ambil kesempatan atas kelemahan manusia.
to conclude, URL aku tetap sama, http://amirukiah.blogspot.com.
bukan blogPSot yerk.
p/s: professional.
kiranya, sesiapa saja ada blogspot akan kena.
nak tulis banyak-banyak tak boleh sebab kes ni sensitif. senang cita ini adalah suatu konspirasi ambil kesempatan atas kelemahan manusia.
to conclude, URL aku tetap sama, http://amirukiah.blogspot.com.
bukan blogPSot yerk.
p/s: professional.
domain changed
domain blog aku dah tukar dari http://amirukiah.blogSPot.com kepada http://meniruanginmenyanyi.blogspot.com jadi sesiapa yang link pada page aku bolehlah tukar..
sebabnya, URL blog aku 93.1% (27 dari 29 characters) sama dengan satu URL website ni: http://amirukiah.blogPSot.com, satu website tentang kristian n promoting kristian dengan segala information berkaitan dengan kristian.
terkejut aku. sebab URL ni aku pilih berdasarkan gabungan nama abah (amir) dengan mama (rukiah).
aku dah cuba cari maksud perkataan 'amirukiah' kalau ada, manalah tau secara kebetulan gabungan nama mama dengan abah ada maksud, tapi aku tak jumpa. dan bila aku search kat google dan yahoo pun, the term amirukiah hanya keluar sebagai blog aku, takde pun website kristian tu muncul.
however, blogPSot memang wujud. dan aku bukan orang pertama yang kena macam ni. boleh baca dengan lebih details di sini.
tapi aku tak dapat evidence untuk support teori aku yang website tu curi URL aku. aku dah cuba cari tarikh mula operasi laman web tu tapi tak jumpa. ada satu guest book tempat visitors boleh pergi sign as a record yang diorang dah sampai website tu, jadi dari jumlah visitors boleh dapat agak lama mana website tu dah beroperasi, tapi bila aku tekan guest book, lagi banyak cerita tentang kristian keluar dan guest book tu x de pun.
apa-apa pun, everything happens for a reason. lepas ni perlu lebih hati-hati. sama jugak pada korang semua yang ada blog dan web masing-masing, dan terima kasih skali lagi pada che (sory aku tak tau siapa kamu) yang bgtau bende ni pada aku.
istighfar.
p/s: selamat menyambut hari jumaat :)
sebabnya, URL blog aku 93.1% (27 dari 29 characters) sama dengan satu URL website ni: http://amirukiah.blogPSot.com, satu website tentang kristian n promoting kristian dengan segala information berkaitan dengan kristian.
terkejut aku. sebab URL ni aku pilih berdasarkan gabungan nama abah (amir) dengan mama (rukiah).
aku dah cuba cari maksud perkataan 'amirukiah' kalau ada, manalah tau secara kebetulan gabungan nama mama dengan abah ada maksud, tapi aku tak jumpa. dan bila aku search kat google dan yahoo pun, the term amirukiah hanya keluar sebagai blog aku, takde pun website kristian tu muncul.
however, blogPSot memang wujud. dan aku bukan orang pertama yang kena macam ni. boleh baca dengan lebih details di sini.
tapi aku tak dapat evidence untuk support teori aku yang website tu curi URL aku. aku dah cuba cari tarikh mula operasi laman web tu tapi tak jumpa. ada satu guest book tempat visitors boleh pergi sign as a record yang diorang dah sampai website tu, jadi dari jumlah visitors boleh dapat agak lama mana website tu dah beroperasi, tapi bila aku tekan guest book, lagi banyak cerita tentang kristian keluar dan guest book tu x de pun.
apa-apa pun, everything happens for a reason. lepas ni perlu lebih hati-hati. sama jugak pada korang semua yang ada blog dan web masing-masing, dan terima kasih skali lagi pada che (sory aku tak tau siapa kamu) yang bgtau bende ni pada aku.
istighfar.
p/s: selamat menyambut hari jumaat :)
Wednesday 20 August 2008
Monday 18 August 2008
by dr seuss, an american cartoonist :)
i found a very good quote and poem from dr seuss today. thanks to the person who gave the quote to sab :)
'be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind'
and here is the last poem he wrote before he died in 1990:
Oh, The Places You'll Go!
you have brains in your head.
you have feet in your shoes.
you can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
you're on your own.
and you know what you know.
and YOU are the one who'll decide where to go.
you wont lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
you'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
im sorry to say so
but sadly it's true
that bang-ups and hang-ups
can happen to you.
on and on you will hike, and i know you'll hike far
and face up your problems whatever they are.
you'll get mixed up of course, as you already know.
you'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.
so be sure when you step.
step with care and great tact
and remember that life's a great balancing act.
just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
and never mix up your right foot with your left.
will you succeed?
yes you will indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
what a beautiful and meaningful poem. i always love this kind of poems, they remind me of my golden childhood. they always tell me that everything will be alright and give me courage to never give up on hope.
and sharing these beautiful lines are something i can never be more pleased to do. i feel that everyone should read and remember them.
so have a read. and take care :)
'be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont mind'
and here is the last poem he wrote before he died in 1990:
Oh, The Places You'll Go!
you have brains in your head.
you have feet in your shoes.
you can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
you're on your own.
and you know what you know.
and YOU are the one who'll decide where to go.
you wont lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
you'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
im sorry to say so
but sadly it's true
that bang-ups and hang-ups
can happen to you.
on and on you will hike, and i know you'll hike far
and face up your problems whatever they are.
you'll get mixed up of course, as you already know.
you'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.
so be sure when you step.
step with care and great tact
and remember that life's a great balancing act.
just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
and never mix up your right foot with your left.
will you succeed?
yes you will indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
what a beautiful and meaningful poem. i always love this kind of poems, they remind me of my golden childhood. they always tell me that everything will be alright and give me courage to never give up on hope.
and sharing these beautiful lines are something i can never be more pleased to do. i feel that everyone should read and remember them.
so have a read. and take care :)
Sunday 17 August 2008
purpose vs power
maybe i should write about this. regardless of how some people think of me as an ignorant. marie von ebner eschenbach was right when she said 'we are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we dont care for'. so i dont want to know what others think about me; i guess i just decided to let them go down the drain.
and so im writing about what concerns me and what went on inside my mind just now.
i just watched hellboy 2. before, i watched the dark knight, and also hancock. what i found was a very significant change of thinking among the westerners. they now learnt that they are having a very big conflict, a conflict that only islam can answer- the purpose of living.
before, in most heroism-type movies, inner conflicts are very rare. everything seems obvious- we all know which one is the hero and which one is the enemy simply by their looks. we have also been implanted by those movies that good will eventually wins; and heroes dont have to think twice on how they should use their power (that is to save the mankind and fight evil). everything was kept straight-forward and seemed easy. there were a set of moral values undisturbed, definitions remained unchallenged because movie makers focused more onto completing the storyline rather than personalising into the main characters' thoughts and feelings- gaps between us and the characters used to be very wide indeed.
but it isnt the case anymore. knowledge has expanded, the world is getting smaller and people have realized that they are bound by nothing. just as w. clement stone once said, 'whatever the mind of man can concieve and believe, it can achieve'. personally, i think the achievements that the protagonists in the movies got due to their super powers can be logically achieved by us normal human being given we have more time. nothing is proved to be impossible, right?
so now we have the power. we have the technologies. we have the knowledge. and we keep on wondering why. we can imagine the effects of our abilities and strength and how we can use them. life helps us by directing us to obstacles each day, urging us to make decisions. and we keep on wondering on which way we are going to take in utilising our power.
if we do good, how can we know that we will be well-paid? can anyone guarantee us that everything will end good? will we be well-pleased with what we will do? if things eventually go wrong, where will we stand? how can we be assured that we will always be safe?
these are the conflicts that i could grasp from hancock, the dark knight and hellboy 2. trends of heroism-type movies have changed; movie makers now are aggressively imposing on what they personally feel and think about conflicts of mankind nowadays through the heroic characters in their movies. they are trying to picture the reality with strong honesty and openness, and eventually leaving the decisions for us the viewers to make.
as an old saying say, nothing is constant except change, yet human rarely embrace it full-heartedly. i am no exception. i take some time to suit myself into a new life and environment, from living comfortably in my home country to being an undergraduate student in a foreign country that requires me to speak not in my first language, mingling with people from different backgrounds and believes, and having to adjust my belief all these while. my faith has always been turrently challenged over and over again. i have to always reflect, reconsider and rethink about how to deal with my life and everything that comes before me. good science is part of my religion- i have learnt not to swallow every piece that im given. i learnt to reevaluate and to repeat experiments to ensure its validity in all experiences ive gone through. and ultimately i learnt to choose based on what i have come to believe.
and with deepest thankfulness, what i believe in never changes.
we all know human being are so much as vulnerable as their dreams. human makes mistakes, human changes and human faces challenges everyday that pushes them to make choices for survival. things are more than plain black and white. human varies in priorities, capacities, feelings and thoughts eventhough they have the same belief. they dont always deal with the same problem the same way. to utmost appreciation and beauty, human are all unique. at least that's what i learnt from my adolescence age.
when i was small i had my purpose first before i realize about my strength. it was typical those days- when i really wanted something i know that i had to summon the power needed to get it. it was all safe; you cant be trickingly wrong with purpose. but now, i have come to know myself better, to know deeper about my own strength and power, and sometimes i curiously yet fearfully thinking about my purpose. when you know what you have before you know on how you want to give it away, things get tricky because you have so much options to choose from. you start to weigh the benefits and consequences of your power, because you can control it.
i guess that's why i am always afraid of power, because im afraid that i might misuse it. i always look at talented people with fear; because i can imagine the burden they are carrying when they have to make decisions. i am one of my country's best students too, so i know what it feels like. sometimes you feel like you want to throw all those fear out, but no one hear you. the pressure of expectations of other people can sometimes push you forward but can also push you to the limit. you have to know and accept what makes you you to clear up your mind before you can make any decisions.
from another perspective, for we all are blessed with wealth of some sort, yet our life can be so agonizing with lots of problems, makes us think what is actually important. and why are we even here.
which then brings me to my conclusion point- we are all created by purpose. personally i feel that it is so absurd to be created by nothing. to be born by accident. to live with coincidences. we can live whichever way we want to, we can do anything we want to, as long as it suits our purpose. and our ultimate purpose is the hereafter. we might not be well-treated in life, we might do very big mistakes and do not know how to make everything right again except for walking forward and try to get over our bitter regrets, and we simply might not get the things we really want in life. but that's why the hereafter is there at the first place. no matter how difficult and demeaning things are, we always know where we stand. no matter how far we have traveled and how diverse we have become, we know where to go back to. we now have the power and know how to use it. and do you know what is our greatest power of all? it is prayer.
i have found the answer to my question- just have Allah at the back of your mind, always.
always.
always.
and we will all be fine forever. insyaAllah, ameen..
p/s: happy nisfu syaaban ;-)
and so im writing about what concerns me and what went on inside my mind just now.
i just watched hellboy 2. before, i watched the dark knight, and also hancock. what i found was a very significant change of thinking among the westerners. they now learnt that they are having a very big conflict, a conflict that only islam can answer- the purpose of living.
before, in most heroism-type movies, inner conflicts are very rare. everything seems obvious- we all know which one is the hero and which one is the enemy simply by their looks. we have also been implanted by those movies that good will eventually wins; and heroes dont have to think twice on how they should use their power (that is to save the mankind and fight evil). everything was kept straight-forward and seemed easy. there were a set of moral values undisturbed, definitions remained unchallenged because movie makers focused more onto completing the storyline rather than personalising into the main characters' thoughts and feelings- gaps between us and the characters used to be very wide indeed.
but it isnt the case anymore. knowledge has expanded, the world is getting smaller and people have realized that they are bound by nothing. just as w. clement stone once said, 'whatever the mind of man can concieve and believe, it can achieve'. personally, i think the achievements that the protagonists in the movies got due to their super powers can be logically achieved by us normal human being given we have more time. nothing is proved to be impossible, right?
so now we have the power. we have the technologies. we have the knowledge. and we keep on wondering why. we can imagine the effects of our abilities and strength and how we can use them. life helps us by directing us to obstacles each day, urging us to make decisions. and we keep on wondering on which way we are going to take in utilising our power.
if we do good, how can we know that we will be well-paid? can anyone guarantee us that everything will end good? will we be well-pleased with what we will do? if things eventually go wrong, where will we stand? how can we be assured that we will always be safe?
these are the conflicts that i could grasp from hancock, the dark knight and hellboy 2. trends of heroism-type movies have changed; movie makers now are aggressively imposing on what they personally feel and think about conflicts of mankind nowadays through the heroic characters in their movies. they are trying to picture the reality with strong honesty and openness, and eventually leaving the decisions for us the viewers to make.
as an old saying say, nothing is constant except change, yet human rarely embrace it full-heartedly. i am no exception. i take some time to suit myself into a new life and environment, from living comfortably in my home country to being an undergraduate student in a foreign country that requires me to speak not in my first language, mingling with people from different backgrounds and believes, and having to adjust my belief all these while. my faith has always been turrently challenged over and over again. i have to always reflect, reconsider and rethink about how to deal with my life and everything that comes before me. good science is part of my religion- i have learnt not to swallow every piece that im given. i learnt to reevaluate and to repeat experiments to ensure its validity in all experiences ive gone through. and ultimately i learnt to choose based on what i have come to believe.
and with deepest thankfulness, what i believe in never changes.
we all know human being are so much as vulnerable as their dreams. human makes mistakes, human changes and human faces challenges everyday that pushes them to make choices for survival. things are more than plain black and white. human varies in priorities, capacities, feelings and thoughts eventhough they have the same belief. they dont always deal with the same problem the same way. to utmost appreciation and beauty, human are all unique. at least that's what i learnt from my adolescence age.
when i was small i had my purpose first before i realize about my strength. it was typical those days- when i really wanted something i know that i had to summon the power needed to get it. it was all safe; you cant be trickingly wrong with purpose. but now, i have come to know myself better, to know deeper about my own strength and power, and sometimes i curiously yet fearfully thinking about my purpose. when you know what you have before you know on how you want to give it away, things get tricky because you have so much options to choose from. you start to weigh the benefits and consequences of your power, because you can control it.
i guess that's why i am always afraid of power, because im afraid that i might misuse it. i always look at talented people with fear; because i can imagine the burden they are carrying when they have to make decisions. i am one of my country's best students too, so i know what it feels like. sometimes you feel like you want to throw all those fear out, but no one hear you. the pressure of expectations of other people can sometimes push you forward but can also push you to the limit. you have to know and accept what makes you you to clear up your mind before you can make any decisions.
from another perspective, for we all are blessed with wealth of some sort, yet our life can be so agonizing with lots of problems, makes us think what is actually important. and why are we even here.
which then brings me to my conclusion point- we are all created by purpose. personally i feel that it is so absurd to be created by nothing. to be born by accident. to live with coincidences. we can live whichever way we want to, we can do anything we want to, as long as it suits our purpose. and our ultimate purpose is the hereafter. we might not be well-treated in life, we might do very big mistakes and do not know how to make everything right again except for walking forward and try to get over our bitter regrets, and we simply might not get the things we really want in life. but that's why the hereafter is there at the first place. no matter how difficult and demeaning things are, we always know where we stand. no matter how far we have traveled and how diverse we have become, we know where to go back to. we now have the power and know how to use it. and do you know what is our greatest power of all? it is prayer.
i have found the answer to my question- just have Allah at the back of your mind, always.
always.
always.
and we will all be fine forever. insyaAllah, ameen..
p/s: happy nisfu syaaban ;-)
Friday 15 August 2008
pelangi~
di tengah winter cuaca sangat sejuk dan awannya kurang corak. di penghujung winter pula hujan selalu singgah. oleh itu aku ada sebab untuk tangkap gambar.
p/s: selamat menyambut hari jumaat.. ;-)
ini pelangi hari sabtu 090808
ini pelangi hari khamis 140808
dua ekor burung yang warnanya macam pelangi 090808
eh, ini pelangi mane pulak ni..?? he..he..
p/s: selamat menyambut hari jumaat.. ;-)
Thursday 14 August 2008
今朝～
kepul awan putih macam dalam lukisan warna cat air yang terlebih basah, berbaris dan bergerak membentuk lapis-lapis nipis yang tenang. seekor burung kecil terbang sedikit terhuyung-hayang cuba meredah angin sederhana kuat, kemudian berpatah balik sambil bersiul-siul memanggil temannya yang hilang. daunan hijau kemerahan di puncak pokok bergoyang-goyang mengikut arah angin, tinggi dan merenjis embun ke bumi. dua ekor burung berterbangan; nampaknya burung tadi sudah menjumpai temannya. kedua-duanya terbang riang dan bebas kemudian hilang dari pandangan.
indah sangat, sungguh harmoni, dan semuanya di luar kawalan aku. betapa kadang-kadang membuatkan aku berfikir sama ada tanganku ini sebenarnya memelihara atau memusnahkan.
love me tender
love me sweet
never let me go
you have made my life complete
and i love you so
ada burung berkicau. sedikit pun kicauannya tak sumbang. sedikit pun suaranya tak mampu ditiru atau diperbaikkan- ia sudah cukup cantik dan original. sekurang-kurangnya itulah yang aku percaya. setiap ciptaan itu unik dan punya seni serta bahasanya sendiri.
love me tender
love me true
all my dreams fulfilled
for my darling
i love you
and i always will
matahari semakin bersemangat memancarkan cahayanya. meski malam tadi sangat gelap dan sejuk; kadang-kadang aku rasakan seperti ia takkan berakhir. tapi matahari terbit juga esoknya, dan esok itu telah pun menjadi sekarang. paradoks lah tu; setiap hari semakin dekat bertemu dengan orang-orang kesayangan, walaupun rindu itu makin menyakitkan.
love me tender
love me deep
tell me you are mine
i'll be yours through all these
till the end of time
kelihatan seorang lelaki yang agak tinggi berpakaian tebal separuh berlari menapak simen di tepi apartment dengan sederhana laju. mungkin sedang bergegas ke kelas. aa, kadang-kadang kita bergerak terlalu laju, kan? maka pada waktu itu bayangkanlah aku meletakkan tapak tanganku yang suam ke dadamu yang sejuk sambil memberitahumu yang aku sentiasa ada di sini bersamamu. dan ketika kau lelah kepenatan mendaki bukit, bayangkanlah aku ada di sebelahmu menunjukkan pemandangan yang cantik di tanah rata di bawah sana. iya, kau rehatku dan aku rehatmu dan kita sentiasa menyenangkan hati. untukmu yang mengajarku bercinta aku nukilkan ini, ilhamNya pada suatu pagi:
the sun is rising,
nature starts smiling,
a good day is coming,
for you it's waiting..
good morning.. ;-)
p/s: selamat menyambut hari jumaat.. ;-)
indah sangat, sungguh harmoni, dan semuanya di luar kawalan aku. betapa kadang-kadang membuatkan aku berfikir sama ada tanganku ini sebenarnya memelihara atau memusnahkan.
love me tender
love me sweet
never let me go
you have made my life complete
and i love you so
ada burung berkicau. sedikit pun kicauannya tak sumbang. sedikit pun suaranya tak mampu ditiru atau diperbaikkan- ia sudah cukup cantik dan original. sekurang-kurangnya itulah yang aku percaya. setiap ciptaan itu unik dan punya seni serta bahasanya sendiri.
love me tender
love me true
all my dreams fulfilled
for my darling
i love you
and i always will
matahari semakin bersemangat memancarkan cahayanya. meski malam tadi sangat gelap dan sejuk; kadang-kadang aku rasakan seperti ia takkan berakhir. tapi matahari terbit juga esoknya, dan esok itu telah pun menjadi sekarang. paradoks lah tu; setiap hari semakin dekat bertemu dengan orang-orang kesayangan, walaupun rindu itu makin menyakitkan.
love me tender
love me deep
tell me you are mine
i'll be yours through all these
till the end of time
kelihatan seorang lelaki yang agak tinggi berpakaian tebal separuh berlari menapak simen di tepi apartment dengan sederhana laju. mungkin sedang bergegas ke kelas. aa, kadang-kadang kita bergerak terlalu laju, kan? maka pada waktu itu bayangkanlah aku meletakkan tapak tanganku yang suam ke dadamu yang sejuk sambil memberitahumu yang aku sentiasa ada di sini bersamamu. dan ketika kau lelah kepenatan mendaki bukit, bayangkanlah aku ada di sebelahmu menunjukkan pemandangan yang cantik di tanah rata di bawah sana. iya, kau rehatku dan aku rehatmu dan kita sentiasa menyenangkan hati. untukmu yang mengajarku bercinta aku nukilkan ini, ilhamNya pada suatu pagi:
the sun is rising,
nature starts smiling,
a good day is coming,
for you it's waiting..
good morning.. ;-)
p/s: selamat menyambut hari jumaat.. ;-)
Friday 8 August 2008
fuji sensei kata "ii desu ne.." :)
tiba-tiba rasa macam dia ada kat sebelah. dekat sangat.
ish. buat tersirap darah aku je.
p/s: selamat menyambut hari jumaat :)
ish. buat tersirap darah aku je.
p/s: selamat menyambut hari jumaat :)
Thursday 7 August 2008
sekarang kamu dah ada satu antibodi terhadap masalah kamu -mama-
yeah, betul tu ma. qilah is a very blessed and lucky person. i have you and i can turn and talk to you if i have anything in mind; i dont have to depend on other people. berbanding dengan mama dulu kat sekolah asrama kat kelantan yang hanya balik rumah kat sarawak setahun sekali dan hanya berhubung dengan atuk nenek melalui surat.
ye, qilah sangat bertuah. walaupun qilah jauh dari mama. walaupun qilah jauh dari orang-orang yang qilah sayang. qilah masih dapat berhubung dengan kamu semua bila-bila qilah perlu. dan pada masa yang sama, qilah tau kita semua tengah sama-sama berjuang cuba buat yang terbaik dan hasilkan yang terbaik sepanjang kita hidup setiap hari. doa-doa kita semua mati dalam bermaruah. in dignity. ameen.
dan betul kata mama. memang ada soalan dalam dunia ni yang walau difikirkan betapa banyak kali pun kita takkan dapat jawapannya. cuma bergantung pada sama ada kita nak tengok masalah tu sebesar gunung atau sebesar biji sawi. dan masalah yang kita nampak sebesar gunung semalam kita boleh nampak dia hanya sebesar biji sawi hari ini. bak kata mama juga, tak ada dugaan lebih besar bagi mama dari kehilangan seorang anak. dari kehilangan aqil. jadi sekarang mama boleh hadap apa jua masalah dengan senyuman; sampai tak ada sesiapa pun tau. wahh, mama sungguh tabah. mama saya sungguh tabah. doa-doa orang-orang kesayangannya begitu juga. ameen.
lepas tu mama kata, semuanya terpulang pada diri kita sendiri. kalau sayang nape takut nak komited; kalau tak sayang nape takut nak tinggal, kan.
terima kasih, ya Allah.
p/s: ようこそへこのせかい、ワリヌハンナニちゃん！ ;) [02082008]
ye, qilah sangat bertuah. walaupun qilah jauh dari mama. walaupun qilah jauh dari orang-orang yang qilah sayang. qilah masih dapat berhubung dengan kamu semua bila-bila qilah perlu. dan pada masa yang sama, qilah tau kita semua tengah sama-sama berjuang cuba buat yang terbaik dan hasilkan yang terbaik sepanjang kita hidup setiap hari. doa-doa kita semua mati dalam bermaruah. in dignity. ameen.
dan betul kata mama. memang ada soalan dalam dunia ni yang walau difikirkan betapa banyak kali pun kita takkan dapat jawapannya. cuma bergantung pada sama ada kita nak tengok masalah tu sebesar gunung atau sebesar biji sawi. dan masalah yang kita nampak sebesar gunung semalam kita boleh nampak dia hanya sebesar biji sawi hari ini. bak kata mama juga, tak ada dugaan lebih besar bagi mama dari kehilangan seorang anak. dari kehilangan aqil. jadi sekarang mama boleh hadap apa jua masalah dengan senyuman; sampai tak ada sesiapa pun tau. wahh, mama sungguh tabah. mama saya sungguh tabah. doa-doa orang-orang kesayangannya begitu juga. ameen.
lepas tu mama kata, semuanya terpulang pada diri kita sendiri. kalau sayang nape takut nak komited; kalau tak sayang nape takut nak tinggal, kan.
terima kasih, ya Allah.
p/s: ようこそへこのせかい、ワリヌハンナニちゃん！ ;) [02082008]
Saturday 2 August 2008
40 Tips for A Better Life
1. Take a 20-40 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in factories.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. GOD heals everything.
28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
29. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
30. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
31. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
32. The best is yet to come.
33. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
34. Do the right thing!
35. Call your family often.
36. Your inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
37. Each day give something good to others.
38. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
39. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
40. Don't try to be others, just be your best self.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in factories.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. GOD heals everything.
28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
29. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
30. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
31. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
32. The best is yet to come.
33. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
34. Do the right thing!
35. Call your family often.
36. Your inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
37. Each day give something good to others.
38. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
39. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
40. Don't try to be others, just be your best self.
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