Friday, 29 January 2010

together we stand, together we strive

when i was only at page 68, i said it was a thrill; that i could see something was opening up. but when i came to page 300, it was full of confusion and conflict. a life story, especially a good one, is always more complicated, unsettling though at the same time revealing, than we have ever imagine it may be.

at some point after that, i thought that maybe i should stop reading. or perhaps i should have never started reading it. with a novel, i could easily do that, but i didn't, because i felt that i need to know the ending of the story.

and somehow it is the same with life. through thick and thin, no matter how it started and whatever lies on the way, like you said, 'the end is what matters the most'.

that's how i keep on going, with you. that's how i stay, that's how i never let you go. we have always dreamed and longed for this love; i want you just as much as you want me.

that's why we'll go on, slowly and steadily. we may stumble on the way, we may fall on slippery edges, but we'll stand together again. we cannot promise anything to each other, but we will try our best.

as for the rest, we let Allah decides. for it is in His hands that everything is written, all prayers end up upon. o Allah, please forgive us for our sins and help us through. we need You so, so much.


Sunday, 24 January 2010

cv cepat lah siap..

i'm not used to feeling stranded. i am claustrophobic, and sometimes feel like i am put into an air-tight bottle, sealed. no matter how much i scream, my voice cannot penetrate through.

perhaps it is me to blame. yes, i think it is. maybe i am always a stranger, someone who cannot fit in with others.

and no matter how many stories i want to tell, i am better off with my mouth shut. and i think i'm doing it better day by day.

perhaps it is always better this way, especially if it saves a lot of hurt.

Saturday, 2 January 2010

happy new year..

i don't know which comes and stay and which comes and go. but i know that family stays.

tho someday all my brothers and sister will eventually go, towards their own ambitions; to build their own lives. they will leave the house. i don't know where i'm going, yet i cannot stay either; i know that eventually i must go, too.

but if i ever lose everything, they are all that i've got. God i love them, and i am always proud of them.

Phil Collins- You'll Be In My Heart

Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand Hold it tight

I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand
the way we feel
They just don't trust
what they can't explain
I know we're different but,
deep inside us
We're not that different at all

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
We need each other,
to have, to hold
They'll see in time
I know

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on,
Now and forever more

Oh, you'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be in my heart, always