musim bunga yang sedikit resah

sahur tadi diteman marini sambil mengunyah roti perlahan-lahan pukul 420 pagi. sekejap-sekejap rasa lekit lalu aku cicahkan roti ke dalam air teh suam. air teh yang dibancuh malam tadi dan masih berbaki yang aku panaskan seminit dalam microwave. mula-mula berfikir mahu makan sekeping lagi roti tapi tak apalah, selera tak ada pula. insyaAllah tahan aje sampai berbuka, alah macam lah tak biasa.

usai solat subuh aku malas-malas bangkit dari sejadah. memikirkan esei dan report yang belum siap, tertangguh sebab influenza. kagum, tak sangka influenza boleh jadi sekuat itu. alhamdulillah sekarang semua dah okay cuma batuk kahak masih belum hilang. apa-apa pun hati aku masih berbunga sebab musim sejuk dah berakhir. cuma resah ini takkan hilang selagi kerja-kerja aku belum siap.

'lagi berapa jam 1 september?' marini mengusik.
'entah lah tak kira. assignments banyak tak siap ni, awak kirakanlah. haha~' aku menjawab selamba, acuh tak acuh melayan adik aku seorang ni. terima kasih lah, dia bukan jenis sensitif macam aku, tahan aje dengan perangai chipsmore aku yang suka tiba-tiba lenyap tanpa sebab. tak pernah merajuk bila aku tak balas mesejnya di ym atau sms yang bila cuti sekolah mengisi bunyi-bunyi seharian aku.

aku tak boleh, tak boleh rehat lagi...jadi aku bangkit terus dari sejadah, melipat telekung dan kembali ke meja penekunan. pukul 758 pagi aku selesai membaca. sekarang perlu fikirkan isi mana aku mahu ambil untuk ditulis dalam esei aku nanti. 1000 perkataan, anggarku dalam 3-4 muka surat. sekejap-sekejap jari-jari meluncur tanpa fikir ke keyboard, klik pada butang facebook dan melihat updates. kemudian ke ym. rindu.

tiba-tiba LGU990 ku berbunyi.

'akum anak ma, tak de klas ke ari ni'.

cepat-cepat aku beralih dari hp dan menyambar telefon rumah. suara awin pertama aku dengar. dah sahur, mama bangun pukul 5 pagi dan buat cucur ikan bilis. aku minta mahu bercakap dengan mama.

'anak ma takde klas ke?'
'ade..pukul 10. ma ngah watpe?'
'baru lepas sahur. tengah mengerah adik-adik kamu sembahyang. tadi anak ma makan ape sahur?'
'owh..qila makan roti. sapu susu. cicah air teh. ma buat cucur ea?'
'aah, alah cucur ikan bilis aje. kitorang kat rumah ni bukan makan nasi pun.'
'same lah qilah, pagi-pagi tak biasa makan nasi.'
'kan kan? kite memang tak biasa macam tu.'

yang peliknya, sekejap-sekejap terdengar suara adik-adik aku gelak di belakang mama. mama kemudian berhenti bercakap dengan aku dan beralih kepada mereka tapi mama tak suruh mereka diam; mama bisikkan sesuatu kemudian cakap 'cepat lah, cepat lah.'

'ma..ma?'
'iye iye..ma de sini..'

tibe-tibe ma cakap 'okay ready..?? 1..2..3..'

happy beday beruang tua..
happy beday beruang tua..
happy beday beruang tua..
happy beday beruang tuaaaaa...

kemudian adik-adik aku mengilai di belakang mama, ketawa yang tersangat seronok sebab dapat mengenakan aku walaupun aku jauh. mama pun tergelak sama.

'mamaaaaa..alaaa..pe beruang tuaaaa..beruang comel laaaa..' kemudian aku pun ikut tergelak.

'tapi awal sehari lah ma.'
'alah, takpe, dah alang-alang kamu call.'
'hehe~ thank you..makacih kat adik-adik gak ea..'
'okay beruang tua..hehe~'
'alaa..npe pulak qilah beruang tua..mak beruang camane..? hehehe~'
'amboii..mak beruang tak masuk list..haha~'
'owh..dah beruang ma, polar bear, grizzly bear, skarang beruang tua pulak ea..'
'hehehe~ beruang makan ramen..nanti balek mesia kurus macam spiral maggi..baju pun saiz XS..hasif kate takde shape..'
'haha~ ello..sape kate tak de shape aa..hasif kuang ajaq ea..'
'haha~ okay2 ma dah ketuk pale dye untuk kamu.'
'yeayy! makacih..haha~
'owh, nah kejap ahnaf nak cakap.'
'okay.'

'yong, tips-tips terakhir ade?'
'tips terakhir? owh, bile upsr ek? bulan 9 kn?'
'aah, 8 hr bulan.'
'owh..uwm..banyakkan bace doa, jangan tinggal solat, bile ma panggil cepat datang wat pe ma suruh..'
'okay..kalau time exam lupe ke blank ke camane?'
'selawat banyak kali..akak dulu selalu wat camtu..'
'okay..kamu bile nak balik? kitorang dah beli baju raye da..ade baju raye kaler purple tak?'
'lagi 16 minggu..hehe~ mane ade warna purple..kenapa?'
'sume pakai kaler same tahun ni..warna purple..'
'aaa...?? tak pena-pena kaler same pastu npe orang nye takde..? nak gak..mane aci sume pakai baju kaler same org still kat sini..eeeee..cakap ngan ma..'
'alaa..nanti raye haji pakai la same-same..'
'takmo..tak same..takkan korang nak pakai baju kaler same dua kali kot?'
'pakai je lah..'
'takmo..tak aci..orang nak join gak..nak cakap ngan ma..'
'ye ye jap jap..nah ma..'

'uih berat tul ahnaf ni sambil cakap kat tepon duk atas riba ma. ma rasa macam 100 kilo duk atas riba ma ni. haha~'
'haha~ ingatkan ahnaf da kurus. maaaa..nape sume kaler same?? qilah nak gak..'
'ye lah ye lah sat g ma nak belikan baju krung aisyah ngan baju melayu hasif nanti ma carikan untuk kamu sekali kalau ade..'
'huhu~ okay..tak acinye pakai kaler same..'
'haha~ kamu da nak balik da kan? tak lama je lagi..'
'aah..lagi 16 minggu..'
'alahai homesick nya anak ma sampai kira minggu..hasif suruh kamu buat macam orang-orang dalam penjara tu, buat macam kira lidi-lidi tu, lepas lukis empat potong..srettt..'
'eee hasif kejam..'
'hahaha~ kamu de klas ni kan?'
'aah..pukul 10..selalu qilah gerak 940 camtu..qilah g siap-siap dulu k..'
'okay sayang ma..take care..i love you..we miss you..'
'huhu~ love and miss u too..ma kem salam adik-adik k..'
'okay..assalamualaikum..'
'waalaikumussalam..'

1 jam 14 minit lebih. sempat bersembang pasal orang miskin, selsema babi dan resepi nasi ayam. lepas ni boleh lah try insyaAllah.

p/s: selamat hari lahir ke-52 malaysia. moga dalam sayang Allah selalu. ameen..~

ramadhan 1431H- prepare for miracles~

1. it has always been about satisfying my thirst for knowledge, not for the sake of scoring high or meeting deadlines.

2. "allahumma innaka afwul kareem, tuhibbul afwa, fa'fu 'anna- o Lord, You are the most forgiving, and You love Your slaves asking forgiveness from You, therefore please forgive our sins." this prayer mentions the Allah's name 'al-afwu', which not only means The Most Forgiving but also the One who effaces sins (making all the sins disappear as if they were never done). during the judgement day, even the angels who used to dictate our right and wrong doings (atid & rakib, correct me if im wrong) will not remember writing down our sins which have been forgiven under Allah's name al-afwu.

3. dreamed about loved ones, palaces, cakes, beautiful scenery of green hills and slowly flowing blue-crystal clear rivers beside ice, swimming pools and high tech mirror and tv. also about saving my prince through prayers and been kissed.

4. i think spring has started. the sun shines brightly and the clouds are dancing in the sky and the leaves are being blown by the wind. plus i dont feel really cold anymore. it's beautiful.

5. ya Allah, jgn benarkan aku sakitkan org2 yang aku sayang..ameen

6. 'alhamdulillah anak-anak ma so far suma baik2 dan tak susah nak ajar. tak macam anak-anak orang lain, sampai afiq pun cakap 'afiq tak reti kawan ngan sesetengah budak tu, diorg kutuk mak diorang sendiri'. anak-anak ma tak macam tu. ma faham especially time umur-umur korang sekarang ni, hati tu sentiasa rasa resah gelisah. fikir mcm2, psl hidup, ms dpan, bf gf, psl pe org2 ckp tntang korang, stadi semua. sebab tu ma sentiasa btau anak2 ma ma ampunkn dosa anak2 ma yg lepas, sekarang dan akn dtg. sebab ma nak anak2 ma sentiasa tenang. tenang tu penting, tak tenang kta tak boleh bfikir ngan baik. and pesan ma, usah fikir psl org2 yg xda kaitan kasih syg ngan kita, psl pe diorg fikir etc. and kena biasakan dr kecik membantu ma, supaya dpt ringan tulang bila nak membantu orang nanti, beri sedekah etc. sampai bila-bila pun ma nak sentiasa dekat dengan anak-anak ma, take care and reach you all. insyaAllah.'

...to be continued

things that are meant to be will find its way

today at campus centre while i was wandering around and wondering on whether i should withdraw some money and buy some food, because i'm having a bad cough and a light fever and i thought that i had to eat something before things get any worse, i came across the official opening of Oxfam and Australia aboriginal products selling booth at the Monash Shop. they got free chocolates, jams, spreads, coffees and teas to taste and i was very glad that i could have some and learn something new about what people are doing to help clean the environment and help poor people. i was very delighted.

i was told then by the founders of the Outback Pride, Mike and Gayle Quarmby that all the food originally come from rural areas populated mostly by aboriginal people of Australia. they are processed naturally and manufactured without any preservatives or animal-based substances, thus they are all Halal and are without doubt very good for health. these Australia Native Foods are grown at different places in Australia based on their suitable climate conditions; some are grown in the desert while some at the coastal areas, therefore they dont exploit the soil and ground water like other plants which are grown at a place but are not actually the native plants of that area. these plantations are taken care by the aboriginal people living around the plantation fields who work there and are paid according to the fair trade wages. therefore, these cultivation help tremendously in supporting the economy of aboriginal people as they dont have to go the cities to find jobs yet still have a sound income.

i love their natural and strong taste; they are very concentrated so you dont need to use a lot of them in cookings and other relish but still get a lot of nutrients from that little amount. and because they dont have any artificial preservatives they are absolutely very healthy. imagine having a garden just outside your kitchen window with all these herbs and plants where you can simply pick and put them straight into your cooking pan- that's how fresh and natural their taste like. the only preservatives used are sugar and vinegar and their quantities are monitored by using refractometer to determine their pH so that the food will not be too acidic and thus unhealthy. some of them, for example the Kutjera Relish are so fresh you can actually feel their bitter aftertaste; remember how the saying goes that the more bitter a food is, the healthier it is? still, they have a catchy and pleasant taste when you dip a water cracker biscuit into them or put them into your dish and have a go with them.

the same goes with Oxfam products which originate from Sri Lanka. they are developed and manufactured with the initial intention to help support the aboriginal people living in rural areas and to give them a chance to be just as equal as other people from urban areas whilst maintaining their unique culture and lifestyle. they produce a fantastic range of yummy chocolates, coffees, drinks, Brazil nuts some coated with chocolate as well as souvenirs like t-shirts that have a slogan 'close the gap' between us and aboriginal people, mugs and small colourful decorations for our home. and because all the aboriginal people working on these products are paid with fair trade wages, the products are slightly more expensive than those usually sold in the market. but it explains the exceptional quality, very healthy and environmental-friendly products which are for me, priceless.

i love to help the environment and the unfortunate people, and the people who work towards helping them. thus i am writing to support these organizations and perhaps give inspirations to all of us especially people from my home country Malaysia to preserve our rich native foods and products and to develop them accordingly without abandoning our precious environment, and at the same time create more job opportunities for people living in rural areas and educate our dearest citizens on how to make our beloved Earth a better place to live in.

p/s: i met emma today, a long lost classmate from atmospheric science faculty, and how upset she was when she knew that im not continuing in atmospheric science this year, as she said that im very passionate about climate i deserve more than any other people to continue studying it. but she promised to study hard for my sake (thanks emma) and added me on facebook so that we can keep in touch about what are the things going on in climate stuffs as she is doing it as her major (lucky you ;-]). but that's okay, i guess things happen for a reason. and she also said 'you'll find a way, you definitely will'. ameen...

ya Allah, jgn benarkan aku sakitkan org2 yg aku syg...

ameen ya rabbal alameen...