Engaged

After a wholesome day of cooking with ma, a happy chatter with him and a good bath always help to unwind me. Right now I'm relaxing with my iPad which I found out to be very convenient whether with or without the Internet. Of course, having Internet with me all the time would be best.

I have never thought that I would be so lucky to own an iPad for free. But that Tuesday really was my day. First I got to attend a session on Geophysical Electromagnetic Prospecting which since I was small I had considerable interest in it. When I went into upper secondary school, during physics classes I had long awaited my teacher for class on electric and electromagentic. I won't say that I was damn good in it but I am crazy in the topic; as the session went on I couldn't stop my hands from shaking because I was too excited to learn more on how they apply electromagnetic principles in hydrocarbon sensing. Therefore I paused from writing and focused solely on what the speaker said and asked some questions. I planned to later copy the notes from syasya.

We rushed to the DesktopLaunch event where Halliburton was launching their new software. We already knew that there would be a lucky draw at the end of the event therefore we didn't forget to bring our business cards. I think we were the last three person who came; I put my business card first followed by syasya and danni. We went in and found ourselves seats; I sat beside afiq and I asked him what the new software was about. From what I understand, it collaborates seismic images and information about a geological area from various sources at the same time depending on what we request it to display, therefore enabling direct comparisons and prospect potential assessment to be done in realtime. I found it as a beneficial tool but I wonder about the computer capacity it would be demanding- and whether it is cost effective. But it was almost time for the launching and presentation to finish and I couldn't wait to copy the notes from syasya so I grabbed her book and started copying. Afiq asked me to share with him what we got from the previous session so I simply went over my notes. He said it was similar with dr deva's presentation but I could seldomly recall it because I didn't really understand what he taught, compared to this presentation which was delivered from a young enthusiasted guy from Irtkusk Company whose hands were also shaking and his breaths fell short whenever he reached a certain interesting point. I could honestly understand that- I am crazy about the topic as well.

When the time came for the lucky draw, we all looked ahead. There was only one lucky draw and also only one iPad to be won, and that was it. The man put his hands into the bowl and took a business card, he then held it in his hand. He was English. He announced that the winner was from Carigali and he would have trouble saying the name right.

"aqilah amir jamalullail..." I put my head up and looked in front. I was still copying notes so I was blurred for a moment when my name was called. When everyone was looking around and my friends were staring at me in an awe, then I realized what was happening. I stood up and made my way through the rows of chairs to a clearing at the center. People were taking pictures and I shyly went on to get my prize. And there I was, receiving a free iPad which I knew almost nothing about and would merely be thinking about having it in breezes.

And right now I'm typing this post through it. Everyone who knows about my winning said that I was very lucky. When I look back, I sure am feel thankful for this, ya Allah. You sure know how to cheer me up :) Alhamdulillah, thank you ya Allah..thank you everyone who pray for my blessed and easy rizq..may it flow rich and blissful for all of us..ameen3...

Happy eidul adha..

yuzo hayashi- yawarakana jikan

its feeling a lil bit weird that im now listening to a song i used to listen to when i feel so lonely. at that time, i am far away from home, unlike now when my house is actually less than two hours by train.

i guess loneliness strikes without really cares how far you are from the things that you miss. and you can never miss something more than when you miss the past, because past is always the farthest.

i miss the past whenever i face difficult times. the thought of abah drowns me most in deep silence, beyond the sounds of passing vehicles and the chirps of the birds and the whistle of the breeze through the grass.

but just like when the rain falls onto the ground, washing away the streets and soaking the leaves with its drops, the thought of 'you' quenches my thirst and makes me feel alive and can walk or even run again. the thought of 'you' keeps me going, even when the deep silence urges me to stop and vanish.

i can smile without guilt again, because of 'you', even when i still miss abah like i always do.

i always do.

thank you, for being the rain of my life, which gives life and hope whenever i feel so low and lonely. i love you my soulmate.

letto - sebelum cahaya

Lagu ini menceritakan tentang kisah kekasih hati yang begitu tabah untuk mencari cinta sejati. Sebelum datangnya cahaya, sudah tentu pahit maung akan ditempuhi. Bukan senang untuk mencari cinta sehingga sanggup melalui perjalanan yang begitu sunyi dan berliku. Perlambangan untuk kata embun pagi memberikan gambaran bahawa cahaya yang dimaksudkan ialah cahaya matahari. Sebagai simbolik kepada cahaya yang dapat menyuluh manusia ke jalan penuh ketenangan dan kebahagian. -Referred to a Website-

Ku teringat hati
Yang bertabur mimpi
Kemana kau pergi cinta
Perjalanan sunyi
Engkau tempuh sendiri
Kuatkanlah hati cinta

Chorus:
Ingatkan engkau kepada
Embun pagi bersahaja
Yang menemanimu sebelum cahaya
Ingatkan engkau kepada
Angin yang berhembus mesra
Yang kan membelaimu cinta

Kekuatan hati yang berpegang janji
Genggamlah tanganku cinta
Ku tak akan pergi meninggalkanmu sendiri
Temani hatimu cinta

Chorus

Ku teringat hati
Yang bertabur mimpi
Kemana kau pergi cinta
Perjalanan sunyi
Engkau tempuh sendiri
Kuatkanlah hati cinta

Chorus

clove balm & coveralls

being away offshore for the first time, feeling the waves crawling underneath the vessel is quite a new experience for me. this is the second day of sailing, i am still adapting to the shaky movement of the ship with my stomach sometimes filled with too many gas. it has been like this for more than a week now.

im catching up on work; and i have left my novel reading for almost a week now. but at the other end i get to be online more. and thus can write.

ひさしぶりだよね。。さ。。前回　（ぜんかい）何の帰ったこと　（かえったこと）をわすれちゃったんだよ。。今あたしの新しいコンピュータで日本語でタイプにできるから、うれしい。。

日本語の勉強するにとてもこいしいだ。。

ｉｔ　ｈａｓ　ｂｅｅｎ　ａ　ｌｏｎｇ　ｔｉｍｅ，　ｉｓｎ’ｔ　ｉｔ？　ｌｅｔ’ｓ　ｓｅｅ．．ｔｈｅ　ｌａｓｔ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｉ　ｗｒｏｔｅ　ａｎｙｔｈｉｎｇ　ｉｎ　ｊａｐａｎｅｓｅ　ｗａｓ　ａ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｉ　ｃａｎ’ｔ　ｅｖｅｎ　ｒｅｍｅｍｂｅｒ．．ｗｉｔｈ　ｍｙ　ｎｅｗ　ｃｏｍｐｕｔｅｒ　ｔｈａｔ　ｉ　ｃａｎ　ｗｒｉｔｅ　ｊａｐａｎｅｓｅ；　ｉｔ　ｍａｋｅｓ　ｍｅ　ｈａｐｐｙ．．

ｉ　ｍｉｓｓ　ｌｅａｒｎｉｎｇ　ｊａｐａｎｅｓｅ．．

"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get."
-Dale Carnegie

miley cyrus- when i look at you

i tilted my feet, so that i could put my piece of paper that i found after scrambling through my quicksilver bag onto my lap that was now straight, and started writing.

before i got out from the car, ma reminded me to pay more attention to my surroundings; to the people around. i wondered if i have the type of face that's attractive, which is of course questionable in the sense of whether it is good or otherwise, or she just kept her toes on news too well she couldnt help from worrying about her daughter's safety. her words 'dont take things for granted' made me to practice on simply looking at people's faces when i walked pass them. awkward enough, i found it somehow methodical and unpleasing.

i remembered once at the airport, a man told me 'nothing will happen to a lady as sweet as you.' i could still remember his words because i keep on questioning them.

the sunset sky was shining orange and was surrounded by blueish grey and white linings of puffy clouds stretched into thin lines like cotton rolls. sunsets; they are always silently beautiful by their own; being too far from men to reach. i wonder do they sometimes feel sad that despite they are beautiful, they are distant enough that people, lots of times, tend to overlook?

and then i wondered if that was really their feeling or its just the resemblance of my own.

further away i could see brightness striking out from pendarflour lights of high flats as the train moves quite slowly. i imagined different faces belonging to each well-lit squares; people doing different things at the very same time, being individuals when they are not that very physically apart. i tried to link with them, with the reason that perhaps one or two might actually understand how i felt, yet i eventually slashed that possibility out. but then i figured out that regardless, He still listens intently to each hearts, without failing even the tiniest detail.

feeling absorbed and helpless, i didnt really know what i then should be telling Him, or what should i pray for. at least i knew what to write about; it has been quite some time now i supposed.

in the coldness that blanketed me through the whole journey, i remembered your face sending me flying kisses; your shoulders relaxed and your eyes were calm as ever.

i couldnt help myself from smiling, no matter how much i tried to hide it, and i wasnt afraid anymore.

naruto songs

retracing.

after watching inception yesterday, aisyah and me had our dinner at shokuji bento section, enjoying japanese cuisine of course.

we talked about the movie. i personally think its one of the best movies ive watched all my life. i sure as heaven will buy the cd for my family to watch it as well.

i wished you were there beside me dear love. and of course, we talked about you as well.

and about me learning japanese. and the japanese songs she likes, and the japanese songs i like.

which then reminded me of mahou no kotoba by spitz. and followed were all the songs i suddenly realized that i have forgotten that i love them.

i never knew how much part of me that went lost when my laptop broke- all the stuffs inside- the pictures, songs, memories- until yesterday. oh, God. how did i miss this?

therefore i am retracing back my old steps since years back, particularly post 2005. the critical times whereby the important pieces of me were built, parts are revealed and shared, the muddy waters inside cleared, confessions made, our love began.

the story of my life aligned. and it's far from over. honestly i do feel scared sometimes. the more you love someone, the more you dont want to see them get hurt.

i'll do my best. ameen3..

abah, ma and qila at cameron highlands

its off office hour. dim-lighted, personal.

reminded me of the times back in australia. the lonely nights, but very insightful. not so busy, yet filled. not many people, but somehow i managed.

through songs, stretched hours, lots of exercises, focused plans, nightmares, the prayer mat, lecture notes, stringent dieting.

the bitter times that im now missing. how less means more.

its 603pm and im still here. i guess im starting to love staying at the office, hearing to repeated songs, missing my other half and praying the best for all my loved ones.

back then, i always feel that something is missing it frequently made me cry. everything is so far; i cant imagine everything is in their correct place right now, even though i am already near to all that i used to miss.

the gap is still there.

things can never be the same once abah is gone. it never has been, it can never be. no matter how much i try. and perhaps its a good thing. because if it doesnt i'll soon be doomed much faster than i would be able to realize.

its now 618pm.

i need a new handphone. specifically an express music with 3.2mp camera and 3G. and a personal laptop. then i'll be better off. for sure.

time to be patient for the money.