seorang kawan bertanya:
"Betul ke cinta itu buta? Hmmm..Jangan disalahkan cinta itu kerna yang buta itu orang yang bercinta. Buta menilai kekurangan yang ada pd pasangannya, yang dilihat adalah keindahan, yang dirasa adalah kebahagiaan dan kerinduan, yang ditutur dengan penuh kelembutan... Itulah manusia kabur dlm cinta.. bile masa pulak cinta itu celik? dan bagaimana sifatnya..can xplain it? =)"
jawapan saya:
"salam.
ada pepatah kata, cinta tu tak buta, cuma dia tak melihat. semua manusia ada kekurangan, ada kelebihan. cinta. keindahan itu dingin, kebahagiaan itu sentiasa diduga, kerinduan itu menyeksakan, kelembutan itu tangisan. manusia yang sanggup hadapi semuanya ni, adalah manusia yang sanggup sakit sebab cinta. orang yang betul2 cinta akan sedar, betapa lemahnya dia dalam berusaha, betapa kecilnya dia dengan takdir Tuhan. cinta melahirkan manusia kuat yang sentiasa merendah diri. yang sentiasa mahu memberi tapi sangat malu untuk dibalas. cinta melahirkan manusia yang selalu bersyukur dan menghargai setiap kelapangan dan peluang yang Dia beri, cinta mendatangkan ketakutan dan harapan. cinta membuatkan manusia jalan terus, walau macam mana berliku pun laluannya. sambil merasa setiap cubitan, menadah setiap titik tangis, mengira setiap langkah. dan sambil itu dengan cinta manusia belajar, mungkin, dia tak akan dapat semua yang dimahukannya, tapi Tuhan itu sentiasa tahu apa yang terbaik untuk hamba2Nya. maka, walaupun dia tak tahu apa akan jadi pada masa depan, dia akan cuba hargai dan jaga apa dia ada sekarang ini, serahkan semua yang lain kepada Tuhan, jangan sekali-kali putus asa dengan apa yang dia percaya, dan yakin dengan kasih sayang dan rahmat Tuhan. tak kiralah sehina mana pun dia. tapi jangan tanya saya kenapa manusia mencinta, sungguh saya tak ada jawapan untuk itu. cinta hanya terjadi. tiba-tiba terjadi. suatu magik Tuhan yang saya sendiri tak faham bagaimana Dia lakukannya.
hehe. itu bagi saya lah. :)"
Monday, 31 March 2008
Thursday, 27 March 2008
Wednesday, 26 March 2008
first time aku maen tag. huhu~
1.Name one person who made you laugh last night?
- morita-san (honey and clover the drama)
2. What were you doing at 0800?
- ehe. mimpi..?
3.What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
- mandi
4. What happened to you in 2006?
- masuk kolej sunway
5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
- bodoh giler! (kot)
6. How many beverages did you have today?
- one
7. What color is your hairbrush?
- pink
8.What was the last thing you paid for?
- duit belanja rumah
9. Where were you last night?
- ruang tamu rumah
10. What color is your front door?
- white
11. Where do you keep your change?
- in my wallet
12. What's the weather like today?
- hujan. lebat. thunderstorm. hail. hujan batu.
13. What's the best ice-cream flavor?
- paddle pop pelangi n lime vanilla. hee.
14. What excites you?
- emm..someone. rahsia. heheh
15. Do you want to cut your hair?
- maybe not.
16. Are you over the age of 25?
- nope. im 19.
17. Do you talk a lot?
- with the right persons :)
18. Do you watch the O.C.?
- nope.
19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
- i guess so. em?
20. Do you make up your own words?
- who else does?
21. Are you a jealous person?
- nope :)
22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A'.
- alamak. rahsia. haha.
23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'.
- kery. kak kery.
24. Who's the first person on your received call list?
- kak giha
25. What does the last text message you received say?
- (tikah) 'aku pun windu bangat kat ko..em makan elok-elok ek sayang..'
26. Do you chew on your straw?
- accidentally maybe..?
27. Do you have curly hair?
- nope.
28. Where's the next place you're going to?
- rumah rumah rumah
29. Who's the rudest person in your life?
- rahsia.
30. What was the last thing you ate?
- coles honeyflakes cereal.
31. Will you get married in the future?
- insyaAllah..ameen :)
32. What's the best movie you've seen in the past 2 weeks?
- i am sam.
33. Is there anyone you like right now?
- haha. mestilah ada.
34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
- yesterday night.
35. Are you currently depressed?
- nope.
36. Did you cry today?
- nope.
37. Why did you answer and post this?
- syifa tagged saya :)
- morita-san (honey and clover the drama)
2. What were you doing at 0800?
- ehe. mimpi..?
3.What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
- mandi
4. What happened to you in 2006?
- masuk kolej sunway
5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
- bodoh giler! (kot)
6. How many beverages did you have today?
- one
7. What color is your hairbrush?
- pink
8.What was the last thing you paid for?
- duit belanja rumah
9. Where were you last night?
- ruang tamu rumah
10. What color is your front door?
- white
11. Where do you keep your change?
- in my wallet
12. What's the weather like today?
- hujan. lebat. thunderstorm. hail. hujan batu.
13. What's the best ice-cream flavor?
- paddle pop pelangi n lime vanilla. hee.
14. What excites you?
- emm..someone. rahsia. heheh
15. Do you want to cut your hair?
- maybe not.
16. Are you over the age of 25?
- nope. im 19.
17. Do you talk a lot?
- with the right persons :)
18. Do you watch the O.C.?
- nope.
19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
- i guess so. em?
20. Do you make up your own words?
- who else does?
21. Are you a jealous person?
- nope :)
22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'A'.
- alamak. rahsia. haha.
23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'.
- kery. kak kery.
24. Who's the first person on your received call list?
- kak giha
25. What does the last text message you received say?
- (tikah) 'aku pun windu bangat kat ko..em makan elok-elok ek sayang..'
26. Do you chew on your straw?
- accidentally maybe..?
27. Do you have curly hair?
- nope.
28. Where's the next place you're going to?
- rumah rumah rumah
29. Who's the rudest person in your life?
- rahsia.
30. What was the last thing you ate?
- coles honeyflakes cereal.
31. Will you get married in the future?
- insyaAllah..ameen :)
32. What's the best movie you've seen in the past 2 weeks?
- i am sam.
33. Is there anyone you like right now?
- haha. mestilah ada.
34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
- yesterday night.
35. Are you currently depressed?
- nope.
36. Did you cry today?
- nope.
37. Why did you answer and post this?
- syifa tagged saya :)
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
teardrop
kalau Allah mampu jadikan kita cacat, kenapa Dia jadikan kita sempurna sifat? kalau Allah mampu jadikan kita hodoh seperti raksasa, kenapa Dia jadikan kita cantik dan ensem? kalau Allah mampu jadikan kita miskin, kenapa Dia jadikan kita kaya?
melihat mereka yang kekurangan, membuatkan aku rasa sangat terharu. aku mahu jadikan mereka gembira. itu adalah suatu mimpi dan cita-cita. dan melihat kembali pada diri aku, juga buatkan aku terharu. aku mahu jagainya dengan sebaik mungkin.
dari secebis yang Kau izinkan kami lihat, Tuhan. dan juga, secebis yang Kau izinkan kami lakukan mengenainya. Tuhan, terima kasih.
walaupun aku tahu, magik Kau memang banyak.
teardrop- massive attack
love, love is a verb
love is a doing word
fearless on my breath
gentle impulsion
shakes me makes me lighter
fearless on my breath
teardrop on the fire
fearless on my breath
night night of the day
black flowers blossom
fearless on my breath
black flowers blossom
fearless on my breath
teardrop on the fire
fearless on my..
water is my eye
most faithful mirror
fearless on my breath
teardrop on the fire of a confession
fearless on my breath
most faithful mirror
fearless on my breath
teardrop on the fire
fearless on my breath
you are stumbling a little
you are stumbling a little
melihat mereka yang kekurangan, membuatkan aku rasa sangat terharu. aku mahu jadikan mereka gembira. itu adalah suatu mimpi dan cita-cita. dan melihat kembali pada diri aku, juga buatkan aku terharu. aku mahu jagainya dengan sebaik mungkin.
dari secebis yang Kau izinkan kami lihat, Tuhan. dan juga, secebis yang Kau izinkan kami lakukan mengenainya. Tuhan, terima kasih.
walaupun aku tahu, magik Kau memang banyak.
teardrop- massive attack
love, love is a verb
love is a doing word
fearless on my breath
gentle impulsion
shakes me makes me lighter
fearless on my breath
teardrop on the fire
fearless on my breath
night night of the day
black flowers blossom
fearless on my breath
black flowers blossom
fearless on my breath
teardrop on the fire
fearless on my..
water is my eye
most faithful mirror
fearless on my breath
teardrop on the fire of a confession
fearless on my breath
most faithful mirror
fearless on my breath
teardrop on the fire
fearless on my breath
you are stumbling a little
you are stumbling a little
Sunday, 23 March 2008
terima kasih
pernah terfikir kadang-kadang kenapa dunia ni dipenuhi dengan ramai orang yang baik-baik, sehingga ia menyakitkan?
yang kadang-kadang kita bukan sahaja belajar sesuatu yang menyakitkan dari kesilapan dan keburukan tetapi juga dari sesuatu yang menggembirakan?
yang kadang-kadang sesuatu yang sangat kita sayang seperti berada terlalu jauh dari kita dan selalu membuatkan kita kelu?
yang kadang-kadang kita bukan terpaksa buat pilihan antara satu yang baik dan satu yang tak baik, tetapi terpaksa buat pilihan antara dua benda yang sangat baik?
tak apalah ya Allah. buatlah seperti mana yang Kau mahu. aku hanya minta supaya semuanya berakhir dengan baik. ameen.
yang kadang-kadang kita bukan sahaja belajar sesuatu yang menyakitkan dari kesilapan dan keburukan tetapi juga dari sesuatu yang menggembirakan?
yang kadang-kadang sesuatu yang sangat kita sayang seperti berada terlalu jauh dari kita dan selalu membuatkan kita kelu?
yang kadang-kadang kita bukan terpaksa buat pilihan antara satu yang baik dan satu yang tak baik, tetapi terpaksa buat pilihan antara dua benda yang sangat baik?
tak apalah ya Allah. buatlah seperti mana yang Kau mahu. aku hanya minta supaya semuanya berakhir dengan baik. ameen.
awal cuti easter
4.08 pagi.
sejak 10.30 pg tadi. kemudian aku exercise; sampai di penghujung semasa warming down aku tersedar yang sakit tonsil aku semakin kurang. melihat ke luar tingkap dan senyum.
orang kata aku obses dengan kekurusan. mama marah sampai warning. ada orang kata nampak kurus sangat. orang rata-rata rasa aku makin kurus.
aku rasa aku dah boleh baca body aku dengan lebih baik.
lebih kurang pukul 1 ptg kami ke chadstone. aku mengidam sushi. pekerja kedai sushi seorang lelaki cina malaysia yang juga belajar di monash uni tu tegur aku. 'its been ages since you last came here.' wow. dia rindu aku rupanya. baru sekali dua jumpa aku semasa beli sushi tetapi nampaknya dia dah ingat muka aku. yep, hepi. dia agak hensem.
dan kemudian minum air red pearl milk tea sambil jalan-jalan dan beli barang. dalam banyak-banyak tempat shopping di melbourne, aku paling sukakan chadstone.
lepas ke chadstone dan balek rumah, kami berjalan kaki ke rumah bebudak marshall rd. makan di house warming diorang. jumpa ramai orang. makan itu ini. yang paling best- aku dapat tengok-tengok, main-main dan belajar tentang bakal kekasih aku.
dslr. d40? d60? d80? tengok rezeki. terima kasih atuk sebab buat peringkat awal ni ajar aku tentang nikon. pc fair, nantikan aku. eh silap. dslr nikon, nantikan aku.
kemudian dari rumah marshall rd terus ke kolam renang. sedikit tunjuk ajar dari kak kery plus ekstrak-ekstrak dari experiences lepas, aku mula pandai berenang. belum pandai, akan. insyaAllah. nanti boleh belajar tunggang kuda dan memanah pulak. insyaAllah.
balik dari berenang dan makan pizza. ada lagi separuh yang aku belum habiskan. buat sarapan pun oke gak rasanya. sambil makan chips smith perisa thai sweet chilli, aku tengok filem frida.
padahal time tu dah pukul 2 pagi. entah kenapa aku belum mengantuk. dan larat tengok frida lakonan salma hayek itu sampai habis. kalau bukan sebab aku asyik terdengar-dengar nama frida yang faisal tehrani masukkan dalam novel 1515 nya, terbayang-bayang frida yang saharil pernah tulis dalam blognya, dan terbaca nama frida dalam beberapa penulisan orang-orang yang aku kagumi, pasti aku dah tukar channel lepas lebih kurang 10 minit aku tengok cerita tu.
frida. frida. emm. mama selalu cakap 'survival abilities of human selalu melebihi apa yang kita boleh bayang dan jangkakan'. kadang-kadang aku sendiri takut dengan diri aku yang realist. tahu yang aku boleh pergi jauh, sangat jauh sehingga aku takut aku tak ada tempat untuk balik. maka Tuhan, selamatkan aku. selamatkan kami. sebab aku tak sekuat frida kahlo.
kemudian aku makan anggur hijau pulak, nak balance kan dengan pizza dan chips yang aku makan sebelum tu. mama pernah pesan, makan jangan tahan-tahan, makan banyak takpe tapi lepas tu top up dan balance kan dengan sayur dan buah. masa exercise pagi tadi, instead of selalunya jogging non-stop maksimum 15 minit macam selalu, tadi berjaya buat hampir 20 minit, maka aku rasa hepi. baru teringat; malam tadi aku makan agak banyak. ia buatkan aku sedar, nampak dan percaya- aku perlukan tenaga untuk exercise.
dan lepas makan anggur aku minum dalam 2 cawan air kosong. mungkin saja aku akan berjaga sampai subuh. esok ke mornington peninsula pulak. nak escape boleh?
sejak 10.30 pg tadi. kemudian aku exercise; sampai di penghujung semasa warming down aku tersedar yang sakit tonsil aku semakin kurang. melihat ke luar tingkap dan senyum.
orang kata aku obses dengan kekurusan. mama marah sampai warning. ada orang kata nampak kurus sangat. orang rata-rata rasa aku makin kurus.
aku rasa aku dah boleh baca body aku dengan lebih baik.
lebih kurang pukul 1 ptg kami ke chadstone. aku mengidam sushi. pekerja kedai sushi seorang lelaki cina malaysia yang juga belajar di monash uni tu tegur aku. 'its been ages since you last came here.' wow. dia rindu aku rupanya. baru sekali dua jumpa aku semasa beli sushi tetapi nampaknya dia dah ingat muka aku. yep, hepi. dia agak hensem.
dan kemudian minum air red pearl milk tea sambil jalan-jalan dan beli barang. dalam banyak-banyak tempat shopping di melbourne, aku paling sukakan chadstone.
lepas ke chadstone dan balek rumah, kami berjalan kaki ke rumah bebudak marshall rd. makan di house warming diorang. jumpa ramai orang. makan itu ini. yang paling best- aku dapat tengok-tengok, main-main dan belajar tentang bakal kekasih aku.
dslr. d40? d60? d80? tengok rezeki. terima kasih atuk sebab buat peringkat awal ni ajar aku tentang nikon. pc fair, nantikan aku. eh silap. dslr nikon, nantikan aku.
kemudian dari rumah marshall rd terus ke kolam renang. sedikit tunjuk ajar dari kak kery plus ekstrak-ekstrak dari experiences lepas, aku mula pandai berenang. belum pandai, akan. insyaAllah. nanti boleh belajar tunggang kuda dan memanah pulak. insyaAllah.
balik dari berenang dan makan pizza. ada lagi separuh yang aku belum habiskan. buat sarapan pun oke gak rasanya. sambil makan chips smith perisa thai sweet chilli, aku tengok filem frida.
padahal time tu dah pukul 2 pagi. entah kenapa aku belum mengantuk. dan larat tengok frida lakonan salma hayek itu sampai habis. kalau bukan sebab aku asyik terdengar-dengar nama frida yang faisal tehrani masukkan dalam novel 1515 nya, terbayang-bayang frida yang saharil pernah tulis dalam blognya, dan terbaca nama frida dalam beberapa penulisan orang-orang yang aku kagumi, pasti aku dah tukar channel lepas lebih kurang 10 minit aku tengok cerita tu.
frida. frida. emm. mama selalu cakap 'survival abilities of human selalu melebihi apa yang kita boleh bayang dan jangkakan'. kadang-kadang aku sendiri takut dengan diri aku yang realist. tahu yang aku boleh pergi jauh, sangat jauh sehingga aku takut aku tak ada tempat untuk balik. maka Tuhan, selamatkan aku. selamatkan kami. sebab aku tak sekuat frida kahlo.
kemudian aku makan anggur hijau pulak, nak balance kan dengan pizza dan chips yang aku makan sebelum tu. mama pernah pesan, makan jangan tahan-tahan, makan banyak takpe tapi lepas tu top up dan balance kan dengan sayur dan buah. masa exercise pagi tadi, instead of selalunya jogging non-stop maksimum 15 minit macam selalu, tadi berjaya buat hampir 20 minit, maka aku rasa hepi. baru teringat; malam tadi aku makan agak banyak. ia buatkan aku sedar, nampak dan percaya- aku perlukan tenaga untuk exercise.
dan lepas makan anggur aku minum dalam 2 cawan air kosong. mungkin saja aku akan berjaga sampai subuh. esok ke mornington peninsula pulak. nak escape boleh?
Saturday, 15 March 2008
referred movie: primal fear (1996)
marty vila: "Why gamble with money when you can gamble with people's lives? That was a joke. All right, I'll tell you. I believe in the notion that people are innocent until proven guilty. I believe in that notion because I choose to believe in the basic goodness of people. I choose to believe that not all crimes are committed by bad people. And I try to understand that some very, very good people do some very bad things. "
when you decided to believe in something, you will for sure do anything you have in gut to strive towards your belief. you know, that's what drives people their whole life- what they believe in. life can be hard and demeaning, life can be turned upside down in a split second, people change, things change. but there is something that makes people stay- it is belief. and less surprisingly, it is also belief that has the power to change.
with belief, people dare to take risk. with belief comes hope. with belief, people maintain their patience. with belief, people try their best in pursuing their dream. with belief, people dream.
and what about trusting people?
some people will avoid this question with the notion that 'if you believe in God, then trusting people is not that important (to the proportion that it should be discussed)'. once i was like that too. but then i realized, i couldnt just take the easy way out. i decided that trusting people is of one of the utmost importance. if not, Muhammad is not nicknamed al-Amin (one who is trusted)- i supposed He decided that for a reason.
putting your trust on someone, especially one who is not a member of your born family, means sharing your vulnerabilities, asking for views and opinions that can change your life forever, putting yourself on risk of betrayal, suffer, hate and helplessness. revealing your secrets and dark memories in the hope that he/she may save you from hell.
on one side, considering how difficult it is to find the right people that you can trust, is still not the reason to quit finding one. and perhaps (but im saying this with confidence, and yes, i am a believer) God does exist to help us find those people. because i cant see any scientific methodologies or empirical measures that are able to actually calculate and determine who can be trusted and who cannot.
but it is in our nature, that human believes. and they tend to trust; it is just a question of whom they trust and how they trust that becomes the story.
belief starts with the eyes that see, and the minds that think, and the hearts who feel. and what we know, does not necessarily resemble what we believe in. because if it does, then there's no need for faith. knowledge triggers us to explore, and belief maintains us on it. the more correct the things that we believe in, the stronger in faith we will be. so never lose hope in exploring. never give up on trying. what you believe in for the first time might be wrong the next time, but you cannot be wrong all the time.
and in the other hand, what you believe in for the first time, may look wrong all the way through, but remember, no diamond can hide its shine. like an old saying goes, 'truth always prevail'.
in this particular movie, i saw how someone can be believing in someone's else's innocence its drive's so powerful it eventually wiped everything else out and made everyone who at first were so reluctant to be totally believed in him. he changed the world just because he believed.
but the twist of the story actually ended out that what he had fully-heartedly believed in, was actually a mere lie. the verdict was really actually guilty for the murder.
yes, we bleed because we believe. once we believe in something, it becomes a part of us and of so much importance. we cant stop to believe, we just have to choose what to believe. and choosing to believe is not something that take only two hours or a week- it takes us a lifetime. and it is always, without doubt, testable.
so what do you believe in?
discussing this bluntly and academically actually making me nervous, as i think of all the possibilities that can happen. but reflecting back on all these times and listening to what my heart says; i felt relieved when i am able to come back to only one place. and is actually able to stay there.
God, show us the light. ameen.
when you decided to believe in something, you will for sure do anything you have in gut to strive towards your belief. you know, that's what drives people their whole life- what they believe in. life can be hard and demeaning, life can be turned upside down in a split second, people change, things change. but there is something that makes people stay- it is belief. and less surprisingly, it is also belief that has the power to change.
with belief, people dare to take risk. with belief comes hope. with belief, people maintain their patience. with belief, people try their best in pursuing their dream. with belief, people dream.
and what about trusting people?
some people will avoid this question with the notion that 'if you believe in God, then trusting people is not that important (to the proportion that it should be discussed)'. once i was like that too. but then i realized, i couldnt just take the easy way out. i decided that trusting people is of one of the utmost importance. if not, Muhammad is not nicknamed al-Amin (one who is trusted)- i supposed He decided that for a reason.
putting your trust on someone, especially one who is not a member of your born family, means sharing your vulnerabilities, asking for views and opinions that can change your life forever, putting yourself on risk of betrayal, suffer, hate and helplessness. revealing your secrets and dark memories in the hope that he/she may save you from hell.
on one side, considering how difficult it is to find the right people that you can trust, is still not the reason to quit finding one. and perhaps (but im saying this with confidence, and yes, i am a believer) God does exist to help us find those people. because i cant see any scientific methodologies or empirical measures that are able to actually calculate and determine who can be trusted and who cannot.
but it is in our nature, that human believes. and they tend to trust; it is just a question of whom they trust and how they trust that becomes the story.
belief starts with the eyes that see, and the minds that think, and the hearts who feel. and what we know, does not necessarily resemble what we believe in. because if it does, then there's no need for faith. knowledge triggers us to explore, and belief maintains us on it. the more correct the things that we believe in, the stronger in faith we will be. so never lose hope in exploring. never give up on trying. what you believe in for the first time might be wrong the next time, but you cannot be wrong all the time.
and in the other hand, what you believe in for the first time, may look wrong all the way through, but remember, no diamond can hide its shine. like an old saying goes, 'truth always prevail'.
in this particular movie, i saw how someone can be believing in someone's else's innocence its drive's so powerful it eventually wiped everything else out and made everyone who at first were so reluctant to be totally believed in him. he changed the world just because he believed.
but the twist of the story actually ended out that what he had fully-heartedly believed in, was actually a mere lie. the verdict was really actually guilty for the murder.
yes, we bleed because we believe. once we believe in something, it becomes a part of us and of so much importance. we cant stop to believe, we just have to choose what to believe. and choosing to believe is not something that take only two hours or a week- it takes us a lifetime. and it is always, without doubt, testable.
so what do you believe in?
discussing this bluntly and academically actually making me nervous, as i think of all the possibilities that can happen. but reflecting back on all these times and listening to what my heart says; i felt relieved when i am able to come back to only one place. and is actually able to stay there.
God, show us the light. ameen.
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