p.s.
happy belated 20th birthday my love...God knows how much I miss you and want to be with you...
p.s.
happy belated 21st birthday afiq...
p.s.
tq for being good friends, ejul & helmi...
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
Friday, 11 February 2011
Al-Insaan
[1]
Bukankah telah berlalu kepada manusia satu ketika dari masa (yang beredar), sedang ia (masih belum wujud lagi, dan) tidak menjadi sesuatu benda yang disebut-sebut, (maka mengapa kaum musyrik itu mengingkari hari akhirat)?
[2]
Sesungguhnya Kami telah aturkan cara mencipta manusia bermulanya dari air mani yang bercampur (dari pati benih lelaki dan perempuan), serta Kami tetap mengujinya (dengan kewajipan-kewajipan); oleh itu maka Kami jadikan dia berkeadaan mendengar dan melihat.
[3]
Kerana keadaan itu tidak mencukupi, maka) sesungguhnya Kami telah menunjukkan kepadanya (melalui akal dan Rasul) akan jalan-jalan (yang benar dan yang salah; maka terserahlah kepadanya) sama ada ia bersyukur (dengan beriman dan taat), ataupun ia berlaku kufur (dengan mengingkari kebenaran atau menderhaka).
[4]
(Dalam pada itu), sesungguhnya Kami telah menyediakan bagi sesiapa yang berlaku kufur (atau menderhaka): beberapa rantai dan belenggu serta neraka yang menjulang-julang.
[5]
Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang berbakti (dengan taat dan kebajikan), akan meminum dari piala: sejenis minuman yang bercampur dengan “Kafur”, -
[6]
Iaitu sebuah matair (di Syurga), yang diminum daripadanya oleh hamba-hamba Allah (yang taat); mereka boleh mengalirkannya (di tempat-tempat tinggal mereka) dengan aliran yang semudah-mudahnya dan menurut kemahuannya.
[7]
(Mereka dikurniakan kesenangan itu kerana) mereka menyempurnakan nazarnya (apatah lagi yang diwajibkan Tuhan kepadanya), serta mereka takutkan hari (akhirat) yang azab seksanya merebak di sana sini.
[8]
Mereka juga memberi makan benda-benda makanan yang dihajati dan disukainya, kepada orang miskin dan anak yatim serta orang tawanan,
[9]
(Sambil berkata dengan lidah atau dengan hati): “Sesungguhnya kami memberi makan kepada kamu kerana Allah semata-mata; kami tidak berkehendakkan sebarang balasan dari kamu atau ucapan terima kasih,
[10]
“Kami sebenarnya takutkan Tuhan kami, takut Ia kenakan kami azab hari yang padanya muka orang-orang yang bersalah: masam berkerut-kerut”.
[11]
Dengan sebab (mereka menjaga diri dari kesalahan), maka Allah selamatkan mereka dari kesengsaraan hari yang demikian keadaannya, serta memberikan kepada mereka keindahan yang berseri-seri (di muka), dan perasaan ria gembira (di hati).
[12]
Dan kerana kesabaran mereka (mengerjakan suruhan Allah dan meninggalkan laranganNya), mereka dibalas oleh Allah dengan Syurga dan (persalinan dari) sutera.
[13]
Mereka berehat di dalam Syurga dengan berbaring di atas pelamin-pelamin (yang berhias), mereka tidak nampak di situ adanya matahari (usahkan hawa panasnya), dan tidak juga merasai suasana yang terlampau sejuk;
[14]
Sedang naungan pohon-pohon Syurga itu dekat kepada mereka, dan buah-buahannya pula dimudahkan (untuk mereka memetiknya) dengan semudah-mudahnya.
[15]
Dan (selain itu) diedarkan kepada mereka (oleh pelayan-pelayannya): bijana dari perak dan piala-piala minuman yang keadaannya laksana kaca (nampak jelas isinya) -
[16]
(Keadaannya laksana) kaca, (sedang ia) dari perak; pelayan-pelayan itu menentukan kadar isinya sekadar yang cukup betul dengan kehendak penggunanya.
[17]
Dan mereka dalam Syurga itu, diberi minum sejenis minuman yang campurannya dari “Zanjabil”,
[18]
Iaitu sebuah matair dalam Syurga, yang disebutkan sifatnya sebagai “Salsabil”.
[19]
Dan mereka dilayani oleh anak-anak muda lelaki yang tetap kekal (dalam keadaan mudanya), yang sentiasa beredar di sekitar mereka; apabila engkau melihat anak-anak muda itu, nescaya engkau menyangkanya mutiara yang bertaburan.
[20]
Dan apabila engkau melihat di sana (dalam Syurga itu), engkau melihat nikmat yang melimpah-limpah dan kerajaan yang besar (yang tidak ada bandingannya).
[21]
Mereka di dalam Syurga memakai pakaian hijau yang diperbuat dari sutera halus dan sutera tebal (yang bertekat), serta mereka dihiasi dengan gelang-gelang tangan dari perak; dan mereka diberi minum oleh Tuhan mereka dengan sejenis minuman (yang lain) yang bersih suci.
[22]
(Serta dikatakan kepada mereka): “Sesungguhnya (segala pemberian) ini adalah untuk kamu sebagai balasan, dan adalah usaha amal kamu (di dunia dahulu) diterima dan dihargai (oleh Allah)”.
[23]
Sesungguhnya Kami telah menurunkan Al-Quran kepadamu (wahai Muhammad), dengan beransur-ansur.
[24]
Oleh itu hendaklah engkau bersabar menerima hukum Tuhanmu (memberi tempoh kepada golongan yang menentangmu), dan janganlah engkau menurut kehendak orang yang berdosa di antara mereka, atau orang yang kufur ingkar.
[25]
Dan sebutlah dengan lidah atau dengan hati akan nama Tuhanmu (di dalam dan di luar sembahyang), pada waktu pagi dan petang;
[26]
Dan (dengan apa keadaan pun maka) pada sebahagian dari waktu malam sujudlah kepada Tuhan (dengan mengerjakan sembahyang), dan (seboleh-bolehnya) bertasbihlah memujiNya (dengan mengerjakan sembahyang Tahajjud), pada sebahagian yang panjang dari waktu malam.
[27]
Sesungguhnya orang-orang (yang menentangmu) itu sentiasa mencintai (kesenangan dan kemewahan dunia) yang cepat habisnya, serta mereka membelakangkan (tidak menghiraukan bekalan) untuk hari akhirat yang amat berat (penderitaannya kepada orang-orang yang tidak bertaqwa).
[28]
Kamilah yang menciptakan mereka serta menguatkan tulang sendi dan urat saraf mereka; (Kami berkuasa membinasakan mereka) dan apabila Kami kehendaki, Kami gantikan (mereka dengan) orang-orang yang serupa dengan mereka, dengan penggantian yang sebaik-baiknya.
[29]
Sesungguhnya (segala keterangan yang disebutkan) ini, menjadi peringatan; maka sesiapa yang mahukan (kebaikan dirinya) bolehlah ia mengambil jalan yang menyampaikan kepada keredaan Allah (dengan iman dan taat).
[30]
Dan tiadalah kamu berkemahuan (melakukan sesuatu perkara) melainkan dengan cara yang dikehendaki Allah; sesungguhnya Allah adalah Maha Mengetahui, lagi Maha Bijaksana (mengaturkan sebarang perkara yang dikehendakiNya).
[31]
Ia memasukkan sesiapa yang dikehendakiNya (menurut aturan yang ditetapkan) ke dalam rahmatNya (dengan ditempatkannya di dalam Syurga); dan orang-orang yang zalim, Ia menyediakan untuk mereka azab seksa yang tidak terperi sakitnya.
Bukankah telah berlalu kepada manusia satu ketika dari masa (yang beredar), sedang ia (masih belum wujud lagi, dan) tidak menjadi sesuatu benda yang disebut-sebut, (maka mengapa kaum musyrik itu mengingkari hari akhirat)?
[2]
Sesungguhnya Kami telah aturkan cara mencipta manusia bermulanya dari air mani yang bercampur (dari pati benih lelaki dan perempuan), serta Kami tetap mengujinya (dengan kewajipan-kewajipan); oleh itu maka Kami jadikan dia berkeadaan mendengar dan melihat.
[3]
Kerana keadaan itu tidak mencukupi, maka) sesungguhnya Kami telah menunjukkan kepadanya (melalui akal dan Rasul) akan jalan-jalan (yang benar dan yang salah; maka terserahlah kepadanya) sama ada ia bersyukur (dengan beriman dan taat), ataupun ia berlaku kufur (dengan mengingkari kebenaran atau menderhaka).
[4]
(Dalam pada itu), sesungguhnya Kami telah menyediakan bagi sesiapa yang berlaku kufur (atau menderhaka): beberapa rantai dan belenggu serta neraka yang menjulang-julang.
[5]
Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang berbakti (dengan taat dan kebajikan), akan meminum dari piala: sejenis minuman yang bercampur dengan “Kafur”, -
[6]
Iaitu sebuah matair (di Syurga), yang diminum daripadanya oleh hamba-hamba Allah (yang taat); mereka boleh mengalirkannya (di tempat-tempat tinggal mereka) dengan aliran yang semudah-mudahnya dan menurut kemahuannya.
[7]
(Mereka dikurniakan kesenangan itu kerana) mereka menyempurnakan nazarnya (apatah lagi yang diwajibkan Tuhan kepadanya), serta mereka takutkan hari (akhirat) yang azab seksanya merebak di sana sini.
[8]
Mereka juga memberi makan benda-benda makanan yang dihajati dan disukainya, kepada orang miskin dan anak yatim serta orang tawanan,
[9]
(Sambil berkata dengan lidah atau dengan hati): “Sesungguhnya kami memberi makan kepada kamu kerana Allah semata-mata; kami tidak berkehendakkan sebarang balasan dari kamu atau ucapan terima kasih,
[10]
“Kami sebenarnya takutkan Tuhan kami, takut Ia kenakan kami azab hari yang padanya muka orang-orang yang bersalah: masam berkerut-kerut”.
[11]
Dengan sebab (mereka menjaga diri dari kesalahan), maka Allah selamatkan mereka dari kesengsaraan hari yang demikian keadaannya, serta memberikan kepada mereka keindahan yang berseri-seri (di muka), dan perasaan ria gembira (di hati).
[12]
Dan kerana kesabaran mereka (mengerjakan suruhan Allah dan meninggalkan laranganNya), mereka dibalas oleh Allah dengan Syurga dan (persalinan dari) sutera.
[13]
Mereka berehat di dalam Syurga dengan berbaring di atas pelamin-pelamin (yang berhias), mereka tidak nampak di situ adanya matahari (usahkan hawa panasnya), dan tidak juga merasai suasana yang terlampau sejuk;
[14]
Sedang naungan pohon-pohon Syurga itu dekat kepada mereka, dan buah-buahannya pula dimudahkan (untuk mereka memetiknya) dengan semudah-mudahnya.
[15]
Dan (selain itu) diedarkan kepada mereka (oleh pelayan-pelayannya): bijana dari perak dan piala-piala minuman yang keadaannya laksana kaca (nampak jelas isinya) -
[16]
(Keadaannya laksana) kaca, (sedang ia) dari perak; pelayan-pelayan itu menentukan kadar isinya sekadar yang cukup betul dengan kehendak penggunanya.
[17]
Dan mereka dalam Syurga itu, diberi minum sejenis minuman yang campurannya dari “Zanjabil”,
[18]
Iaitu sebuah matair dalam Syurga, yang disebutkan sifatnya sebagai “Salsabil”.
[19]
Dan mereka dilayani oleh anak-anak muda lelaki yang tetap kekal (dalam keadaan mudanya), yang sentiasa beredar di sekitar mereka; apabila engkau melihat anak-anak muda itu, nescaya engkau menyangkanya mutiara yang bertaburan.
[20]
Dan apabila engkau melihat di sana (dalam Syurga itu), engkau melihat nikmat yang melimpah-limpah dan kerajaan yang besar (yang tidak ada bandingannya).
[21]
Mereka di dalam Syurga memakai pakaian hijau yang diperbuat dari sutera halus dan sutera tebal (yang bertekat), serta mereka dihiasi dengan gelang-gelang tangan dari perak; dan mereka diberi minum oleh Tuhan mereka dengan sejenis minuman (yang lain) yang bersih suci.
[22]
(Serta dikatakan kepada mereka): “Sesungguhnya (segala pemberian) ini adalah untuk kamu sebagai balasan, dan adalah usaha amal kamu (di dunia dahulu) diterima dan dihargai (oleh Allah)”.
[23]
Sesungguhnya Kami telah menurunkan Al-Quran kepadamu (wahai Muhammad), dengan beransur-ansur.
[24]
Oleh itu hendaklah engkau bersabar menerima hukum Tuhanmu (memberi tempoh kepada golongan yang menentangmu), dan janganlah engkau menurut kehendak orang yang berdosa di antara mereka, atau orang yang kufur ingkar.
[25]
Dan sebutlah dengan lidah atau dengan hati akan nama Tuhanmu (di dalam dan di luar sembahyang), pada waktu pagi dan petang;
[26]
Dan (dengan apa keadaan pun maka) pada sebahagian dari waktu malam sujudlah kepada Tuhan (dengan mengerjakan sembahyang), dan (seboleh-bolehnya) bertasbihlah memujiNya (dengan mengerjakan sembahyang Tahajjud), pada sebahagian yang panjang dari waktu malam.
[27]
Sesungguhnya orang-orang (yang menentangmu) itu sentiasa mencintai (kesenangan dan kemewahan dunia) yang cepat habisnya, serta mereka membelakangkan (tidak menghiraukan bekalan) untuk hari akhirat yang amat berat (penderitaannya kepada orang-orang yang tidak bertaqwa).
[28]
Kamilah yang menciptakan mereka serta menguatkan tulang sendi dan urat saraf mereka; (Kami berkuasa membinasakan mereka) dan apabila Kami kehendaki, Kami gantikan (mereka dengan) orang-orang yang serupa dengan mereka, dengan penggantian yang sebaik-baiknya.
[29]
Sesungguhnya (segala keterangan yang disebutkan) ini, menjadi peringatan; maka sesiapa yang mahukan (kebaikan dirinya) bolehlah ia mengambil jalan yang menyampaikan kepada keredaan Allah (dengan iman dan taat).
[30]
Dan tiadalah kamu berkemahuan (melakukan sesuatu perkara) melainkan dengan cara yang dikehendaki Allah; sesungguhnya Allah adalah Maha Mengetahui, lagi Maha Bijaksana (mengaturkan sebarang perkara yang dikehendakiNya).
[31]
Ia memasukkan sesiapa yang dikehendakiNya (menurut aturan yang ditetapkan) ke dalam rahmatNya (dengan ditempatkannya di dalam Syurga); dan orang-orang yang zalim, Ia menyediakan untuk mereka azab seksa yang tidak terperi sakitnya.
"I can't do this, Sam."
"I know. It's all wrong. By rights, we shouldn't even be here. But we are.
It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened?
But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you that meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why.
But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in the stories, had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going, because they were holding on to something."
"What are we holding on to, Sam?"
"That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for."
Wednesday, 2 February 2011
The definition of us
Losses befallen on us and we were dumped in shitty holes. Before we realized anything we started to hurt and punish each other when no one was actually at fault. Sometimes we knew this but the wounds in our hearts have become so deep that all happiness and joy we once knew now seem too far from reach and we feel so accustomed to anger and grief that it becomes too hard to let go and start anew. Nevertheless we struggle through and try our best to set our feet on a fresh ground, together, holding tight to each other, even though we still bleed.
I seldom look back or recount any from the past, except for the moments when we never lost anything and had nothing to worry about and had all the time in the world to count how many drops there were in the rain. Except for recalling those moments, I spend my time dreaming about the future where everything is still crystals, diamonds, snow and puffy clouds. At least that's how I manage this pain. And just as the rest of the family, even during the fuckiest times I never fail to sense the urge and desire for a better life. A hope, on which I cling on, that after everything that happened I can still call it my home.
Through prayers and chances we are blessed to have.
I seldom look back or recount any from the past, except for the moments when we never lost anything and had nothing to worry about and had all the time in the world to count how many drops there were in the rain. Except for recalling those moments, I spend my time dreaming about the future where everything is still crystals, diamonds, snow and puffy clouds. At least that's how I manage this pain. And just as the rest of the family, even during the fuckiest times I never fail to sense the urge and desire for a better life. A hope, on which I cling on, that after everything that happened I can still call it my home.
Through prayers and chances we are blessed to have.
Monday, 31 January 2011
dalam banyak-banyak van, van apa yang boleh dimakan?
i just finished recalculating for my financial planning.
with time, some major changes will happen in your life and knowing that, you should recalculate your financial progress and think of ways to maximize your profit.
we had an inspiring minum petang with my foster father about how he became a millionaire. and today when i met my friends we shared about which is better- ASB saving or ASB financing. after much study and calculations, we arrived at the conclusion that the latter is more rewarding.
and a colleague also noted about an ASB loan package by RHB whereby we only have to pay for the interest for the first 3 years and only start to pay the principle after that 3 years. if, we want to terminate the loan before we start paying for the principle we can do so and take out the dividends to start a fresh loan. im still studying into that.
with my financial planning so far, with God's will everything go smooth i can confidently say that i can become a millionaire before i retire.
which brings me back to the question- why do i want to be a millionaire/multimillionaire?
perhaps the number 1 reason is that im already tired and am done with financial barriers. therefore i want to have that financial freedom as soon as possible.
and of course, for the future of my family.
and third, as a welfare for me in akhiraat.
ya Allah, please guide us the way, bring us ease through our plans, save us from undesirable mishaps and grant us 'us' until forever...ameen, ameen, ameen ya Allah...
with time, some major changes will happen in your life and knowing that, you should recalculate your financial progress and think of ways to maximize your profit.
we had an inspiring minum petang with my foster father about how he became a millionaire. and today when i met my friends we shared about which is better- ASB saving or ASB financing. after much study and calculations, we arrived at the conclusion that the latter is more rewarding.
and a colleague also noted about an ASB loan package by RHB whereby we only have to pay for the interest for the first 3 years and only start to pay the principle after that 3 years. if, we want to terminate the loan before we start paying for the principle we can do so and take out the dividends to start a fresh loan. im still studying into that.
with my financial planning so far, with God's will everything go smooth i can confidently say that i can become a millionaire before i retire.
which brings me back to the question- why do i want to be a millionaire/multimillionaire?
perhaps the number 1 reason is that im already tired and am done with financial barriers. therefore i want to have that financial freedom as soon as possible.
and of course, for the future of my family.
and third, as a welfare for me in akhiraat.
ya Allah, please guide us the way, bring us ease through our plans, save us from undesirable mishaps and grant us 'us' until forever...ameen, ameen, ameen ya Allah...
Wednesday, 19 January 2011
ginormica
it has been a while, again.
i just remembered about replenishing my bloggish thirst and when i saw the previous title it made me resembled about how my life has been up and down like a roller coaster with the switch off of 2010 and the brand new coming of 2011. apart from that, i cannot complain.
there has been some changes with the new year, either they happen coincidentally or not. the first one is the change of weather; resulting a sudden shift in focus from geophysical acquisition work that i had been doing enthusiastically so far to geophysical processing job which conveniently came to fill in my time. the truth and inconvenient (thus challenging) part of it is that i am an official zero-knowledge-brain owner of geophysical processing. compared to other colleagues who have at least a basic skill at knowing what NMO stands for i am no different at all from someone who has never heard of the word geophysical processing at all.
after several weeks indulging myself into processing world i found out that i have grown more pimples and eyebags; which although from what i have found was actually due to lack of exercise (see para 6); have made me visibly more stressful and timid. at more times i found loneliness more of a friend than people, and i could get irritated more easily because i keep on feeling disappointed with myself for not knowing (about processing) and sometimes at even the very silly little things. plus, competitions from dear colleagues who are somehow can keep their interest at respected level from 8 till 5 and seniors' expectations made my heart feel squeezed into juice. to be honest, it's a feeling i cannot feel at ease about. i wanted some time off, but i couldnt. i knew that sooner or later, i still have to face them out and close this gap. once and for all, i hope. for the better, ey.
so i kept on crawling. i scratched through notes and reports and transmittals and websites, i asked questions and raised issues. i tried to think more and do more, although i sometimes felt that they were too much that i wanted to vomit. when i did feel so, i took some time off and played my ipad, or surf through the net. my loved ones keep me going, although some havent. i am still waiting for them to change for the best of their own. oh my beloved family.
i realized that i have neglected my physical exercise when i read an ad at the LRT station: "physical activities help your body to detox itself through perspiration, thus promotes healthier and glowing skin". i reflected on my eyebags and pimples growing at the side of my forehead where i used to perspire the most during exercises and realized what i had been missing so far despite my success in maintaining my body weight's range by +-2kgs - the joy, relief, destress, and sweat i gained from exercising. i started to imagine the shortness in breath, the urge for more effort to complete more push ups, the free movements i can make with all the parts of my body. they are tantalizing and always make me feel fresh. i had barely the time to do all those things; i had been concentrating more on my job and family time and doing financial planning. i forgot to enjoy with myself.
thus i made up my mind to spend at least 20 minutes to exercise in my room. i made push ups, i did static running, i did sit ups, i put on the music, i danced, i laughed. i deliberated myself. God it felt so good. and the best part is, i feel better now, alhamdulillah.
and after consultation with an employee at a pharmacy, i had been told on how to apply the eye-roll that i had bought correctly. actually i thought that it didnt work so i would like to try another one, with her consultation i found that wasnt needed; i only have to work on how to correctly apply it under my eyes and massage the area to make the toxin that causes the eyebags to go away. tips on better sleep, destress and also healthier lifestyle were also discussed. i saved money and gained new knowledge- another plus :)
regarding the processing work, i can feel that my seniors are starting to acknowledge my effort in studying processing and are giving me more chances and sharing more knowledge they have, which i found out not only more enriching but lifting away a lot of burden of expectations from my shoulder as well. i feel more trusted not only by them but more importantly by myself, because before all i know is that i am a processing stupidos who can only ask stupid questions which makes eyes roll in disbelief. but now i know that there are more and more info that i can relate with and are building up. ya Allah, please ease our tasks for us. ameen3...with acquisition i actually have a problematic project; my team members and me had put in a lot of effort into getting it done and had been hit and bombed a lot by our bosses, people from different departments and contractors because of it and as watson in sherlock holmes said
"I've been reviewing my notes, of our exploits over the last seven months.
would you like to know my conclusion?
I AM PSYCHOLOGICALLY DISTURBED."
haha~
yes, sometimes it wasnt funny at all. but since the project we have known each other well and learnt a hell lot about seismic acquisition especially the operational matters; it always amaze us (isnt it?) on how the very difficult things could be the most beneficial. but still, it has been the pain in my backbone. after yesterday i was still thinking what can actually make it worse since it has always been that way but there's light at the end of the tunnel, perhaps and lets say it positively that we can sort it out eventually, with peace. insyaAllah, ameen3...
and the most interesting part in all this is that I CAN NOW COMPLETE SUDOKU! so far i had completed 11 sets (+ more from ipads i didnt count) with an average timing for Medium level of around 35 minutes, and yesterday i completed a Hard one with 16.38 minutes in timing! clap clap clapppp..i am so proud of my teacher..hehe~ thank you dear.. :)
i'll keep rolling to let off more dirt and smudge from the entire me =) ya Allah please show us light, give us strength, patience and success and keep us healthy and away from unwanted disturbances and adversities...ameen ameen ameen ya Allah..
p/s: dear Adah, happy 13th birthday.. ;)
i just remembered about replenishing my bloggish thirst and when i saw the previous title it made me resembled about how my life has been up and down like a roller coaster with the switch off of 2010 and the brand new coming of 2011. apart from that, i cannot complain.
there has been some changes with the new year, either they happen coincidentally or not. the first one is the change of weather; resulting a sudden shift in focus from geophysical acquisition work that i had been doing enthusiastically so far to geophysical processing job which conveniently came to fill in my time. the truth and inconvenient (thus challenging) part of it is that i am an official zero-knowledge-brain owner of geophysical processing. compared to other colleagues who have at least a basic skill at knowing what NMO stands for i am no different at all from someone who has never heard of the word geophysical processing at all.
after several weeks indulging myself into processing world i found out that i have grown more pimples and eyebags; which although from what i have found was actually due to lack of exercise (see para 6); have made me visibly more stressful and timid. at more times i found loneliness more of a friend than people, and i could get irritated more easily because i keep on feeling disappointed with myself for not knowing (about processing) and sometimes at even the very silly little things. plus, competitions from dear colleagues who are somehow can keep their interest at respected level from 8 till 5 and seniors' expectations made my heart feel squeezed into juice. to be honest, it's a feeling i cannot feel at ease about. i wanted some time off, but i couldnt. i knew that sooner or later, i still have to face them out and close this gap. once and for all, i hope. for the better, ey.
so i kept on crawling. i scratched through notes and reports and transmittals and websites, i asked questions and raised issues. i tried to think more and do more, although i sometimes felt that they were too much that i wanted to vomit. when i did feel so, i took some time off and played my ipad, or surf through the net. my loved ones keep me going, although some havent. i am still waiting for them to change for the best of their own. oh my beloved family.
i realized that i have neglected my physical exercise when i read an ad at the LRT station: "physical activities help your body to detox itself through perspiration, thus promotes healthier and glowing skin". i reflected on my eyebags and pimples growing at the side of my forehead where i used to perspire the most during exercises and realized what i had been missing so far despite my success in maintaining my body weight's range by +-2kgs - the joy, relief, destress, and sweat i gained from exercising. i started to imagine the shortness in breath, the urge for more effort to complete more push ups, the free movements i can make with all the parts of my body. they are tantalizing and always make me feel fresh. i had barely the time to do all those things; i had been concentrating more on my job and family time and doing financial planning. i forgot to enjoy with myself.
thus i made up my mind to spend at least 20 minutes to exercise in my room. i made push ups, i did static running, i did sit ups, i put on the music, i danced, i laughed. i deliberated myself. God it felt so good. and the best part is, i feel better now, alhamdulillah.
and after consultation with an employee at a pharmacy, i had been told on how to apply the eye-roll that i had bought correctly. actually i thought that it didnt work so i would like to try another one, with her consultation i found that wasnt needed; i only have to work on how to correctly apply it under my eyes and massage the area to make the toxin that causes the eyebags to go away. tips on better sleep, destress and also healthier lifestyle were also discussed. i saved money and gained new knowledge- another plus :)
regarding the processing work, i can feel that my seniors are starting to acknowledge my effort in studying processing and are giving me more chances and sharing more knowledge they have, which i found out not only more enriching but lifting away a lot of burden of expectations from my shoulder as well. i feel more trusted not only by them but more importantly by myself, because before all i know is that i am a processing stupidos who can only ask stupid questions which makes eyes roll in disbelief. but now i know that there are more and more info that i can relate with and are building up. ya Allah, please ease our tasks for us. ameen3...with acquisition i actually have a problematic project; my team members and me had put in a lot of effort into getting it done and had been hit and bombed a lot by our bosses, people from different departments and contractors because of it and as watson in sherlock holmes said
"I've been reviewing my notes, of our exploits over the last seven months.
would you like to know my conclusion?
I AM PSYCHOLOGICALLY DISTURBED."
haha~
yes, sometimes it wasnt funny at all. but since the project we have known each other well and learnt a hell lot about seismic acquisition especially the operational matters; it always amaze us (isnt it?) on how the very difficult things could be the most beneficial. but still, it has been the pain in my backbone. after yesterday i was still thinking what can actually make it worse since it has always been that way but there's light at the end of the tunnel, perhaps and lets say it positively that we can sort it out eventually, with peace. insyaAllah, ameen3...
and the most interesting part in all this is that I CAN NOW COMPLETE SUDOKU! so far i had completed 11 sets (+ more from ipads i didnt count) with an average timing for Medium level of around 35 minutes, and yesterday i completed a Hard one with 16.38 minutes in timing! clap clap clapppp..i am so proud of my teacher..hehe~ thank you dear.. :)
i'll keep rolling to let off more dirt and smudge from the entire me =) ya Allah please show us light, give us strength, patience and success and keep us healthy and away from unwanted disturbances and adversities...ameen ameen ameen ya Allah..
p/s: dear Adah, happy 13th birthday.. ;)
Thursday, 16 December 2010
the explosion of a candy factory
i woke up this morning feeling barely sober; and although i'm doing okay i kept on wondering what i would fill up this day with, apart from the obvious of course. i need to increase my adrenalin level again; i havent been shopping for long and i miss watching movies with him and anything related to his presence. the last sane food i ate (from what i can remember) was bubur lambuk which his mother bought from pasar tani and the last picture i scrutinized was a picture of us taken by his younger brother. how, with all my intelligence and brain capacity could i never fully fathom how i ended up with him- someone i have always waited and longing for and with whom, even though i can lay out a thousand things about him i still am learning to know the rest of him which i can never find enough, as well as reasons on how i am here beside him when there are a million other chances that i am not, and im not even tired of missing him a pinch.
ANYWAY. did you know that Malaysia now has a government body called Special Innovation Unit (Unik) and that the machine that we usually see in hospitals which beeps accordingly with a patient's heart beat is called electrocardiography?
there really are serious huge pile of stuffs to learn out here on earth. i feel like making my desk crowded and in mess again. lets lets!
i thank God and mr nordin for this new CPU, it works way better from my old one. i even been teased by seniors for its slow performance; they said my pc is slow like its owner. and when iPerintis personnel had it checked remotely, he asked me how long have i been patient with this underperforming pc. i said to him, '6 months,' and i heard him gasped, so i continued, 'really.'
but then i managed to set up a new CPU which was a relief; i can now do my work much faster and i dont have to wait long for files to open or download.
im now imagining myself wandering around mid valley doing, well, practically nothing; which is for me, an arbitrary to window shopping. i actually went to isetan this afternoon, with an aim to spend/shop on office clothes. however it wasnt achieved- the ones i wanted to buy were all not discounted. i conclude then that contrary to what rahimi said that i know nothing about fashion and brands, my intuition always point me to high-taste styles and wearings, which are at the moment, regrettably, are yet to be affordable.
i'll find those which have styles but are much more reasonable in price, then; usually in a less urban locations.
i am having ADD right now, which i cannot help, and its expanding every minute.
p/s: At-Tirmidzi meriwayatkan dari Abu Hurairah bahwa Rasulullah bersabda, “Ada tiga golongan yang pasti akan ditolong oleh Allah; seorang budak yang ingin menebus dirinya dengan mencicil kepada tuannya, orang yang ingin menikah karena ingin memelihara kesucian, dan pejuang di jalan Allah.”
— HR. At-Tirmidzi (no. 1352) kitab an-Nikaah, Ibnu Majah (no. 1512) dan dihasankan oleh Syaikh al-Albani dalam al-Misykaah (no. 3089), Shahiih an-Nasa-i (no. 3017), dan Shahiihul Jaami’ (no. 3050). -
ANYWAY. did you know that Malaysia now has a government body called Special Innovation Unit (Unik) and that the machine that we usually see in hospitals which beeps accordingly with a patient's heart beat is called electrocardiography?
there really are serious huge pile of stuffs to learn out here on earth. i feel like making my desk crowded and in mess again. lets lets!
i thank God and mr nordin for this new CPU, it works way better from my old one. i even been teased by seniors for its slow performance; they said my pc is slow like its owner. and when iPerintis personnel had it checked remotely, he asked me how long have i been patient with this underperforming pc. i said to him, '6 months,' and i heard him gasped, so i continued, 'really.'
but then i managed to set up a new CPU which was a relief; i can now do my work much faster and i dont have to wait long for files to open or download.
im now imagining myself wandering around mid valley doing, well, practically nothing; which is for me, an arbitrary to window shopping. i actually went to isetan this afternoon, with an aim to spend/shop on office clothes. however it wasnt achieved- the ones i wanted to buy were all not discounted. i conclude then that contrary to what rahimi said that i know nothing about fashion and brands, my intuition always point me to high-taste styles and wearings, which are at the moment, regrettably, are yet to be affordable.
i'll find those which have styles but are much more reasonable in price, then; usually in a less urban locations.
i am having ADD right now, which i cannot help, and its expanding every minute.
p/s: At-Tirmidzi meriwayatkan dari Abu Hurairah bahwa Rasulullah bersabda, “Ada tiga golongan yang pasti akan ditolong oleh Allah; seorang budak yang ingin menebus dirinya dengan mencicil kepada tuannya, orang yang ingin menikah karena ingin memelihara kesucian, dan pejuang di jalan Allah.”
— HR. At-Tirmidzi (no. 1352) kitab an-Nikaah, Ibnu Majah (no. 1512) dan dihasankan oleh Syaikh al-Albani dalam al-Misykaah (no. 3089), Shahiih an-Nasa-i (no. 3017), dan Shahiihul Jaami’ (no. 3050). -
Sunday, 5 December 2010
denyut-denyut
acap kali aku buka kembali blog, mesti teringat kata-kata seorang kawan "dah lama kau tak menulis dalam bahasa melayu". aku kemudian fikir, di australia aku rajin menulis dalam bahasa melayu sebab majoriti orang adalah bukan melayu, jadi keinginan untuk berbahasa melayu tu tinggi. tapi bila dah pulang ke tanah air majoriti orang bertutur dalam bahasa inggeris maka aku lebih selesa menulis dalam bahasa inggeris. aku tahu ia paradoks tapi mungkin juga lah ia kerana sifat aku yang suka berahsia, maka kalau boleh, walaupun tidak mungkin, setidak-tidaknya aku dapat rahsiakan apa yang aku rasa dengan menulis dalam bahasa berlainan. yang peliknya, tidak kira di mana aku menulis pasti orang dari dunia mana pun mampu membaca tulisan ini asalkan mereka faham bahasa melayu dan inggeris. tapi itulah, walaupun pelik aku tetap buat seperti mana yang aku rasa.
sudah terlalu lama tak menulis dalam bahasa melayu, kekok benar rasanya.
sejak khamis aku batuk dan selesema, dengan demam dan sakit kepala. sekali bersin berbaki sakitnya di kepala, terasa berpinar-pinar. seluruh badan terutama bahagian kiri semakin lenguh dan sengal rasanya, dan betapa lama tidur pun lenanya tak sampai-sampai, tapi terpaksa kugagahkan juga supaya cepat sihat. harap-harapnya sakitku tidaklah menyusahkan sesiapa dan tidak melarat; begitu fikirku. pertama kali aku mencuba panadol soluble, boleh tahan berkesannya, alhamdulillah. tup tup tap teringat kisah nabi musa; kesakitan sembuh disebabkan oleh Allah bukan ubat, maka aku pun cuba bertahan; moga-moga mendapat keizinan.
kata abah, sakit itu kifarah. oh, semalam dalam mimpi aku jumpa abah. walaupun mimpi tu agak kabur; mungkin sebab aku yang tak berapa sihat, tapi gembiranya dapat berjumpa setelah beberapa waktu. harap-harap abah gembira di sana hendaknya.
hari ini sakitku sudah bertambah kurang, selera makan bertambah baik dan tenagaku cukup untuk membantuku mengemas bilik yang berhabuk dan mencuci cadar dan sarung bantal yang sudah lama tidak dicuci. sambil-sambil mengulang tayang sherlock holmes buat entah beberapa kali, cuba membunuh masa yang cuba membuatkan diri ini bertambah rindu.
tak mengapa, sesungguhnya setiap ketentuan itu ada hikmah dan pengajaran yang dibawanya.
maka aku mencuba menguatkan diri dengan sibuk melayan si kecil arisya yang petah. sudah pandai ber-facebook sekarang, malah lebih pandai ber-smiley daripadaku. ketawa dan komen-komennya sangat jernih dan tulus, bila kumenung-menungkan ingin sekali aku lihatnya senantiasa begitu walaupun jauh dari mungkin. bila semakin dewasa manusia pasti akan berubah menurut pengalaman, ilmu dan perasaannya serta dunia mana yang mencoraknya. dan tiada dunia yang jernih sekarang, betapapun semua menginginkannya. dunia juga semakin tua seperti kita.
malah dengan adegan-adegan yang amat menakutkan. (jika kalian baca buku berjudul 'half the sky' pasti kalian akan mengerti, bagaimana perempuan dilayan di dunia setiap hari. gerun dan menakutkan. ya Allah lindungilah kami keseluruhannya. ameen ameen ameen).
nampaknya sudah lewat..beransur dulu. minta maaf segala salah silap dan terima kasih atas kasih sayang semua. hanya Allah yang mampu membalasnya. ameen, ameen ameen ya Allah.
p/s; aqil sayang, selamat hari lahir. akak kira mesti kamu semakin muda dan dijaga baik di sana kan :)
mak sayang, selamat hari lahir..moga panjang umur, murah rezki dan sentiasa dlm sayang Allah selalu ameen.. =)
sudah terlalu lama tak menulis dalam bahasa melayu, kekok benar rasanya.
sejak khamis aku batuk dan selesema, dengan demam dan sakit kepala. sekali bersin berbaki sakitnya di kepala, terasa berpinar-pinar. seluruh badan terutama bahagian kiri semakin lenguh dan sengal rasanya, dan betapa lama tidur pun lenanya tak sampai-sampai, tapi terpaksa kugagahkan juga supaya cepat sihat. harap-harapnya sakitku tidaklah menyusahkan sesiapa dan tidak melarat; begitu fikirku. pertama kali aku mencuba panadol soluble, boleh tahan berkesannya, alhamdulillah. tup tup tap teringat kisah nabi musa; kesakitan sembuh disebabkan oleh Allah bukan ubat, maka aku pun cuba bertahan; moga-moga mendapat keizinan.
kata abah, sakit itu kifarah. oh, semalam dalam mimpi aku jumpa abah. walaupun mimpi tu agak kabur; mungkin sebab aku yang tak berapa sihat, tapi gembiranya dapat berjumpa setelah beberapa waktu. harap-harap abah gembira di sana hendaknya.
hari ini sakitku sudah bertambah kurang, selera makan bertambah baik dan tenagaku cukup untuk membantuku mengemas bilik yang berhabuk dan mencuci cadar dan sarung bantal yang sudah lama tidak dicuci. sambil-sambil mengulang tayang sherlock holmes buat entah beberapa kali, cuba membunuh masa yang cuba membuatkan diri ini bertambah rindu.
tak mengapa, sesungguhnya setiap ketentuan itu ada hikmah dan pengajaran yang dibawanya.
maka aku mencuba menguatkan diri dengan sibuk melayan si kecil arisya yang petah. sudah pandai ber-facebook sekarang, malah lebih pandai ber-smiley daripadaku. ketawa dan komen-komennya sangat jernih dan tulus, bila kumenung-menungkan ingin sekali aku lihatnya senantiasa begitu walaupun jauh dari mungkin. bila semakin dewasa manusia pasti akan berubah menurut pengalaman, ilmu dan perasaannya serta dunia mana yang mencoraknya. dan tiada dunia yang jernih sekarang, betapapun semua menginginkannya. dunia juga semakin tua seperti kita.
malah dengan adegan-adegan yang amat menakutkan. (jika kalian baca buku berjudul 'half the sky' pasti kalian akan mengerti, bagaimana perempuan dilayan di dunia setiap hari. gerun dan menakutkan. ya Allah lindungilah kami keseluruhannya. ameen ameen ameen).
nampaknya sudah lewat..beransur dulu. minta maaf segala salah silap dan terima kasih atas kasih sayang semua. hanya Allah yang mampu membalasnya. ameen, ameen ameen ya Allah.
p/s; aqil sayang, selamat hari lahir. akak kira mesti kamu semakin muda dan dijaga baik di sana kan :)
mak sayang, selamat hari lahir..moga panjang umur, murah rezki dan sentiasa dlm sayang Allah selalu ameen.. =)
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