I knew for sure when his face turned blue.

Parenting is not a skill you apply from picking 50 ways to enjoy motherhood, or tips to get your children listen to you.

It is a lifestyle that is built from solid groundwork made from pieces of puzzles that are essentially integral with each other; neither one can exist without the other. It is made from parts of reasons, understanding of your genetic make-up and historical backgrounds. Perhaps some parenting aspects dominate in certain cultures but to assume that they apply to everyone is misleading, and dangerous. And I have witnessed it today.

If you are active in parenting;
If the child looks to you when he tell stories;
If the child looks for you when he is upset;
If he is affected by your mood,

You are the most trusted person to your child. Yes, you are overwhelmed, inexperienced, incompetent and lacking - but guess what, everyone is when it comes to parenting. No one is born a parent. It may be good to get advices from more experienced people when things get rough, but you have to trust yourself more when deciding whether your course of parenting actions will include applying those advices. Every advice, no matter how good, needs to go through filters set by you.

And the filters can only be as good as your intentionality when it comes to parenting. 

Mine is still undergoing construction and the road remains long. Sometimes it feels as if I am treading a new path yet the sole of my shoes have started to exhaust.

I am moving forward though, nevertheless. It is the least that I could do besides being being positive.