courage and strength

and with all that imperfections, i am amazed that i still love them. i just wish that i could be braver. to have the courage to touch them more deeply, to have the courage to smile for them more widely, to have the courage to hug them more tightly. to have the courage to answer to all their needs, to be with them whenever they call me, and to stay with them whatever comes ahead.

i guess i learnt how to love from him. and still, i cannot beat him in his courage to love. though he is not all capable, but still he is not afraid to show his love in whatever way that he can. though im always play dumb and numb and always make mistakes, he's there. i guess he just loves me anyway.

since i was a child (and is still), i sure am feel insecured and skeptical over almost everything. having so much vulnerabilities despite all the good things that actually happened, sometimes my weak self demand for clarifications and justifications. signs, words, actions that happen without any warnings.

so You who, out of everything understands me better still, reads me very well, so well that sometimes i just cannot believe it when it happens. just now when i thought so worriedly about something, out of the chaotic and breathless air i could hear You saying "I'm with you. I'll ease it up for you." You are my signs, my words, my actions. just as swiftly and fearlessly as You have done, i wish i can be more like You. and still i am amazed of how sometimes You teach me lots of things through him. Allah, many thanks for that..

i need to be stronger, he needs to be stronger, we all need to be stronger. to be brave enough to love and inspire, and to be strong enough to protect. may after all had done, please ya Allah, please..save us. ameen.